The Adventures of Fast Alice Glass!!

Shortbread and Babyland

2012-01-21T08:59:00.000-08:00

So you may have noticed my conspicuous amount of absent time. A roughly 9 month absence. Without fail as soon as you indulge yourself by venting in a public space about personal problems life will invariably prove you wrong. Not that I'm complaining btw!!! So yes after all that tear jerking and terribleness I got pregnant. Scott free, no drugs involved, totally pregnant; News that I was waiting originally to share with you after the alls safe yet totally arbitrary 12 week mark. What I did not expect was to be slammed with the pregnancy stick so hard. I was sick people... nausea like I have never experienced in my life. It was intense. So week after week went by not posting, not cooking, not even standing vertical so much and I just lost my blogging mojo. Which is a theme if you haven't noticed.

So now I'm about a week away from my due date, as big as a blimp, and more uncomfortable than I ever imagined possible. FYI I was not one of those graceful pregnant people. Those people that make it look so goddamn easy.. "Hi I'm growing an eight pound person off of my uterus and I'm going to run the NY marathon." By about 5 months pregnant I was having intense pelvic pain which has pretty much been the theme for the past 4 months. I would have loved to keep working until the end of the pregnancy. Mostly just to keep my mind from turning into total mush by watching nothing but Bravo and E all day. But it's kinda hard to help people find a good vitamin for themselves when all you can do is lean over a little rolling cart and moan.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I am totally trilled and feel so lucky to be having a healthy pregnancy. We had no major complications, our little guy seems healthy and other than discomfort I haven't had any problems medically. I just can't get over how different this experience has been from what I envisioned. I guess I had some pipe dream of what an organicgranolaearthmother journey pregnancy would be. That since it is such a natural process that it would feel natural. But honestly it has seemed like freakshowalienland right from the get go. Just the whole metamorphosis from normal to extremely pregnant has felt sooooo weird. I just hope the transition from woman/wife to mother feels a little less jarring.

At some point I may post about all the pregnancy craziness. The things that happen to your body, the loss of autonomy, general pregnancy ickyness that people don't talk about. But I have a sneaking suspicion that once I meet this little guy he will be waaaaaaay more interesting than revisiting all the good times of the last few months. In the mean time I'm making shortbread on a snowy day and waiting for baby...

Simple Shortbread

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour

Blend sugar and salt in processor. Cut in butter using on/off turns until blended and smooth. Blend in vanilla. Add flour and process until blended but still slightly crumbly, occasionally scraping down sides of bowl. Gather dough into ball; flatten into disk. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate 30 minutes.
Position rack in top third of oven and preheat to 250°F. Divide dough in half. Press each half onto bottom of 8-inch-diameter cake pan or 9-inch-diameter pie dish. Bake shortbread 30 minutes. Rotate pans and continue baking until cooked through and very pale golden, about 30 minutes longer. Cool in pans on racks 10 minutes. Cut each warm shortbread while still in pan into 12 wedges. Cool completely. Using thin spatula, carefully transfer wedges to platter. (Shortbread can be prepared up to 4 days ahead. Store in airtight container at room temperature.)

Yeah... Hi, it's me

2011-04-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the blatant absenteeism. I didn't have any intention of disappearing this last month but disappear I did. I'm not going into gory details but I'm going through some serious shit. Life shit, sucky shit, shit that I don't want to share on this blog. I even did my Charcutapalooza challenge this month, which despite being an epic fail, would have made a great story. But I just didn't have the heart to write about it. I didn't want to disappear into the ether without an explanation. And if your one of the two people who read this blog I'm sorry to the one of you who doesn't know what is going on. Maybe someday I'll feel like sharing openly about this experience but I can't make any promises. I will promise to be back to posting as soon as I feel OK enough. I love this space and writing about my adventures.

xoxo
Fast Alice

Curry in a not so Hurry...

2011-03-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

At first when I was craving crazy varieties of food I though it was due to the bland restaurant scape here. Now with the tease of warm weather, I'm thinking it may just be spring that is making me want crazy spicy food. I LOVE Indian food people.... LOVE!! Yes, with many exclamations. And I always wanted to know how to cook it. But with cheap Indian right off our old subway stop it was hard to get motivated to learn. So now is the time. I had never attempted to make this kind of food before and although it came out great it took my like aaaaalllll day to make everything. However, I did make the paneer and Nann from scratch and the bread takes 4hours to rise...

As I scoured the Internet for recipes I found the most adorable woman on youtube named Manjula. She has a ton of amazing videos and I totally imagine her to be my Indian Grandmother or Great Aunt or something. We laugh and make Nann bread and she teaches me all about reincarnation and where to buy the best Hing. Or at least that is what I pretend when I'm alone in my kitchen puttering around on Saturday. Seriously people... I need to make some friends here and not like the kind you find on youtube and make friends with in your brain.

The first dish I made was Palek Paneer. I made the paneer myself and it came out amazing. Here is a tip to all you amateur cheese makers out there. I bought pasteurised grass fed milk at the health food store and it worked great!! I have had some terrible experiences making cheese from regular pasteurised (Not UHT) milk that failed to make a curd do to heat damage and what not. This milk made the BEST curd. It was very firm and I can't WAIT to make Mozzarella out of it.

The next dish I made was Chicken Tikka Masala. But Ooooooppss I only had one breast of chicken. So I improvised and use the remainder of my paneer and some string beans to fill out the meal. It was actually really tasty. I might make it this way next time weather I have the chicken or not.

The next and last thing was the Naan. Which I had started of course, many MANY hours before. I of course did a garlic Naan which Big D loves. The naan proofed up more than I expected and I'm sure I didn't roll it out thin enough. But by then we were about to to faint with hunger so I just threw it in the oven. Still tasted great.

Even now I'm looking at these pictures and hoping I did Auntie Manjula proud... Sigh.. Hopefully I will meet some real people soon even if they can't cook.

xoxo
Fast Alice

On the table...

2011-03-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

So it occurs to me that I have been doing a lot of cooking and not a lot of blog posting. I feel guilty about eating all this amazing food and not sharing it with others. One of the things I loved about the city was the diversity of the food. Feel like Greek.. No Problem!! Indian? Just one stop away on the N. Thai? Order from Thai Elephant anytime until mid-night.

Up here in the sticks we just don't have as many options. There is a pretty good Pizza place, a cute Italian restaurant in town that makes great fish dishes and we just discovered "The Horse and Hound Inn & Pub." Which is the closest to our house and made hands down the best fried oyster sandwich I have ever had... and I've been to New Orleans people, a few times so that is saying a LOT!! The oysters were perfectly fried with a corn meal crust and they literally would squirt briny delicious oystery heaven in your mouth when you bit one. A little too much info but it was just as orgasmic as it sounds. Big D and I have dreams of taking the canoe across the lake in the summer and walking to get beers and oyster sandwiches which is needless to say... Awesome.

What was I saying?? Oh yeah.. Despite the good eats. There is a distinct lack of diversity up here. At least in our limited wanderings from Fort Fraley. I totally admit perhaps all the Indian, Thai, Chinese, and Greek places are here but yet to be discovered. So in lieu of fast food I pulled together this dish with satisfied my craving for Thai and ramen at the same time a big win in my book....

Fast Alice's Thai Soba Soup

Please note that each bowl is made individually to taste like a taco or something. Feel free to add or subtract what you will. Some nice additions would be shitake mushrooms which I totally forgot to buy that night. I also wanted to put some chili paste in for a little more heat but the store didn't have it.

Needed:

4 soft boiled eggs

1lb box of soba noodles

1 small onion

5 leaves lacinatto Khale

2 cloves garlic minced

Hot Sesame Chili oil

Sesame oil

Sesame Seeds

1 bunch scallions

1 bunch Cilantro

1 lime

1tsp red pepper flakes

fish sauce

tamari

1 container miso paste

6-8 cups boiled water

Chop the Khale and onions and saute over med/high heat in sesame oil. Once the onions start to brown add the garlic. When the garlic is brown turn off the heat and let pan sit on the warm burner. Boil off the soba as per the directions on the box and toss gently with a little sesame oil to keep from sticking. Take a teaspoon of miso and put in a soup bowl. Add a little of the boiled water (make sure that the water is no longer boiling to preserve the cultures in the miso). Mix until the miso is dissolved then add 1-2 cups of water to taste, depending on how strong you would like the broth. Add 1Tbs of tamari and 1tsp of fish sauce (taste and make sure it is salty enough for you). Put a heaping pile of soba noodles in the center of the bowl. Add the sauteed greens to one side of the noodles and the soft boiled egg. Sprinkle chopped scallions, cilantro, and crushed red pepper over the top. Finish with a drizzle of the hot chili sesame oil and a squeeze of fresh lime.

Enjoy guys!! On to making Indian food :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

I am the GREAT Cornholio!!! Charcutapalooza 3!

2011-03-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

I had to wait all month just to use that title... Whfeewwww. Glad to get that out of my system. So the Ides of March has finally arrived. Which means two things, it is my parents aniversary today and I can blog about insane corn beefy goodness. I have a nasty habit of doing my Charcutapalooza projects waaaaaay ahead of schedule and the corn beef was no exception. The corn beef was made and consumed in its entirtly like three weeks ago.. whooops!! But it was soooo good people there was no way it was gonna last until St. Patty's day. The good news is with the corned beef out of the way I don't feel guilty making shepheard's pie and soda bread on St. Patrick's day. I also had ample time to experiment with different corn beef masterpieces. But back to the BEEF!!
This was hands down the easiest cure yet. Five days in a fridge brine... no problem. I have a confession to make however. I did not make my own pickling spice... GASP!!! I know.. I know. I REALLY wanted to people. But it was a question of economy. I could either buy all natural Beef for $40, from happy cows not pumped full of hormones or spend $40 on the spices I lacked from my shelf to make the pickling spice. I couldn't afford both that week. So the beef won for humanitarian reasons and I chose a pickling spice made by Ancona's Market, a family run grocery store down here. It was totally satisfactory and I got a HUGE container of it for 1/2 the price of the McCormick spices. The outcome was divine, as you can see above. Big D and I could hardly wait and we started nibbling on the beef as soon as it was done simmering...
Later that evening we had a splendid meal of Corn beef and cabbage. Although the cabbage was a little camera shy in this photo. I assure you it was fabulous. I will never buy a corned beef from the store again. The meat was juicy and delicious, perfectly seasoned. Didn't have any of that rubbery bloated quality that some corned beef has.

The next morning we wanted more!!! I had used two, 2 and 1/2 lb pieces of brisket for our beef so I took the remainder of one piece and made the most amazing hash. See the recipe below which includes my secret trick :) You would think we had had enough of eating the same thing meal after meal but NOPE.. later that night we broke out the Reubens.

To make the Reubens we decided to use the slicer to cut the beef.. and holy Hell it was probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The meat was very cold when I sliced it which kept it together. My only regret was that this was the last of it and I couldn't fry up just one or two more slices for breakfast the next day. But with a tear in my eye I continued on with sandwich making.

Big D prefers a more traditional open faced Reuben. All the better to cram more meat and cheese on my dear. This was also made with our homemade saurkraut. Which I helped along with a little vineger (if you saw my earlier post).

This is my personal idea of perfection. With tosty crunch on both sides. If I died and this sandwich floated up to meet me I would be completely confident that I was headed directly to heaven and a world of white truffels, pancetta, risotto, and more crispy sandwiches.

This months challenge was awesome and it gave us enough food for days. For people who are non-pigs I'm sure these goodies would have fed you for at least a week instead of (errr.. two days). With a minimum of effort to boot. Can't wait to see what is next!!

xoxo
Fast Alice

Easy Corned Beef Hash

After making the corned beef reserve about 2 cups worth of the potatoes that have been boiled with the beef. (This recipe if specifically for people who like the dogfoody goodness of canned hash. Not appealing, I know, but lets not lie it totally looks and smells like that.) Mince a small onion and add to a skillet over med heat. Once slightly brown add about 2 cups minced corned beef and brown with the onions. Now the secret.... rough chop the already boiled potatoes. Add a tiny bit more oil to the skillet then add the potatoes. Use a wooden spoon to smush up the potatoes and mix in the meat and onions. Continue to fry until you start to see little brown bits on the potatoes. (It was basically start to look like the outside of a potato pancake). Once it is brown enough to your taste season with pepper (salt too if you like) and serve with a fried or poached egg on top.

Burrrrrrrrrr Blanc...

2011-03-09T11:36:00.001-08:00

So winter seems to have finally let up on us and instead of massive amounts of snow it is now drenching us in rain. So much rain in fact that there has been a ton of flooding up here in the country. Not to mention that the ground is so soggy the trees have little to hold on too and are toppling over... good times. Especially when they topple over on.. um... your house!!! Don't worry folks everything is just fine. The tree wasn't one of the huge ones in our yard thank GOD.. just one of the skinny yet extremely tall ones right next to the house and power lines. Big D, using his superhuman strength, managed to get it off the house without hitting the power lines, fence, or himself. I wish I had taken a picture but I was off to work in a hurry and he had it down before I got back. So we have muddled through another trial of home ownership relatively unscathed (we have a bent gutter but hey..)

In honor of the season passing I wanted to celebrate with a farewell to winter meal. I was in the middle of reading "My Life in France," the Julia Child memoir and Beurre Blanc sounded like just the ticket.

Poached Tilapia with Beurre Blanc and Sauteed Green Beans

Click here for the Beurre Blanc recipe. I modified it a little bit. I added capers in addition to the shallots in the recipe. I also only used 1 1/2 sticks of butter. I like very tart butter sauces, Beurre Blanc or Hollandaise, and also prefer to keep my girlish figure so I add just enough butter to satisfy. In terms of keeping the sauce from separating I basically held the sauce pan above the gas heat. Despite being on super-Super low if I left the pan on the stove itself I could tell it would be too hot. The Tilapia, I simply poached in simmering water with 1/4 cup vinegar, a few pepper corns, and bay leaves for 7 minutes until cooked through. The beans are sauteed in olive oil with garlic and fresh frozen basil. Overall a very tasty meal.

xoxo
Fast Alice

Not so Krauty Kraut...

2011-02-21T15:39:00.000-08:00

So last month I couldn't contain myself and I went ahead and made some Sauerkraut out of the Charcuterie book. Then Low and behold this month was brining!!! So I saved this post like a little treasure until now.. Sadly my Kraut didn't come out as well as I had hoped. It was still really REALLY good but not quite Sauer enough for my taste. I'm positive that this had to to with our house being Effing freezing all the time. We didn't even come close to that 70 degree mark you have to watch out for to prevent the bad BAC. In retrospect next time I will leave the cabbage to Kraut in the kitchen or just let it sit longer. It was still amazing on our hot dogs one night and it will make an appearance later this month on a Reuben or two.

xoxo

Fast Alice

Sick and Sour.... :(

2011-02-21T14:58:00.000-08:00

As you may have guessed it.... I'm sick. Not like have a cold sick but like sucky on the couch sleeping all day coughing my brains out until I puke sick. Good times!! And I am the first to admit that I am a GIANT baby when I am sick. I want blankets and tissues and white instant rice with just a tiny TINY bit of butter please.... and oh can I have some water?? I need an ice pop!! Baby.. I feel so sick... Whaaaaaaaa!! Grummble Grumble grouch GROUCH!!

The good news is I am almost never sick. Thank God! I don't think my poor hubby could take more than a few days of this kind of thing a year. Actually the last time I was sick was in early May 2010. Even this cold I was pretty stubborn succumbing to. I have my arsenal of vitamins and homeopathic remidies to repel you evil one!! You may have won this time but I will triumph in due time... Muahahahahahhhhh. I even managed to squeek out a new recipe last night (at which point I was certain it was just a head cold and needed a little soup, boy was I wrong).

This recipe is courtesy of Krazy for Kazu's, which is a Japanese sauce company. I bought their wares at Gosset's.. Surpise Surprise. And if you are reading Mr. Kazu man forgive me because at first I was just trying your free samples to be nice (and because I can't resist free samples). But after tasting the Ginger dressing and Ponzu Magic sauce, Big D and I realized.. Good God man you are bottling JOY and selling it for $7 a bottle. I was wrong and this recipe made with the Ponzu Magic is Oh.... so right. Enjoy!

Krazy for Kazu's Hot & Sour Soup
(I doubled this recipe to have left overs for lunches)
.5lt water
1 chicken thigh ( I used breast it was what I had handy, it was fine)
1tbsp corn starch (to coat chicken) I added a touch of garlic and chili powder to this for zip
2 large shiitake mushroom (thinly sliced)
2 oz onion (thinly sliced)
2 oz carrot (julienned)
3 oz tofu (bite-sized pieces)
1tsp red pepper
2 oz American Ponzu Magic
1 egg (beat breifly)
1tbsp corn starch (mixed with 1 oz water)
1tsp sesame oil
Any leafy green veggie (I used dried nori)
Scallion

Clean and cut chicken, cut veggies and tofu.
Put water in a pot, bring to boil. Coat chicken with corn starch, place chicken in boiling water. When the chicken is done (floating), put in mushroom, onion, carrot, tofu, red pepper and adjust heat to a simmer.
Add ponzu, egg, corn starch w/water, sesame oil, green veggie and scallion. Once veggies are tender it is ready to serve.

It didn't cure my cold but it cleared my sinuses for a few minutes. Two things the recipe above is pretty mild. Fell free to add more red pepper to taste. I also like mine really sour so I threw a little white wine vinegar in mine with a touch of soy sauce to top it off.

xoxo
Fast Alice

Ode to Gaia's Breath Farms....

2011-02-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

Oh Gaia's breath farm... how do I love thee, let me count the ways. Every time I take a bite of my salty porky delicious pancetta I think of you and your black piggies... I imagine them happily rolling in fields of mud and foraging for acorns in the forest, every minute becoming fatter and sweeter. This vision makes me feel sligtly like the Witch in Hansel and Gretel as all the while I'm imagining eating those same cute happy little piggies... but hey, it is good stuff and if you tasted this pancetta you would we rubbing your hands together and squeezing piggie fingers in your mind to see if they are fat enough too.

In all seriousness I was really overwhelmed with how amazing this product was. It rang in at $8 a pound but I was able to order exactly the poundage I needed without the skin. If you remember, at the regular butcher it was going to be $4 a pound for regular pork but I had to buy the whole belly with skin approx 20lbs!!! Stupid!! So my total cost for 5lbs natural pork belly was $40. In addition to the lower price tag overall I had the most wonderful interactions with Mark, who runs Gaia's Breath. He got back to me super quickly asked what I was making, offered advice, then sent me the most amazingly perfect pretrimmed belly for pancetta. I was left with virtually no waste. When I tied up the pancetta itself I trimmed two small pieces from each end, purely for asthetics and devoured them quickly with my husband for brecky. Mark also answered my many questions about different products, even the price for a whole pig head. Which was very reasonable needless to say, I can't imagine many people ask for it these days. The belly was delivered to Gosset's Farm Market where I picked it up at their booth.

I was so pleased with the results I went back to the Market and had Tara, who runs the Gaia's booth, help me pick out an amazing 60 day aged Jack cheese to make my Saltimbocca recipe with. I can't say enough about my experience with this company!! I def plan to do their farm share. So exciting :)

Mark!!! If you are out there... You must get a booth down in NYC so my friends can try your products. They are too wonderful to miss. Wait... no!! Don't go to NYC.. stay here.. only here... Yes.. so that they have to come and visit me whilst picking up their pork and cheese. Ahhh.. much better.. lol.

xoxo
Fast Alice

A Belly to Rub... Charcutapalooza: Challenge 2

2011-02-15T16:50:00.000-08:00

Recently, Kim at The Yummy Mummy asked us Charcutapalooza peeps to get deep and make our blogs our memoirs... to tell our ever growing blog community why we have embarked on this challenge and what we are learning.

I debated with myself for a long time about writing this post. Most of the time I bill myself as an extremely open person. In fact I often have a penchant for discussing things that most people would find inappropriate. However, I don't usually care to talk about my problems or things that are going on in my life that worry, scare, or intimidate me. Those topics, I tend only to discuss with a very VERY select few. Mostly people who would love me or have to love me no matter what. That said, despite the effortlessly witty blog title that sprung to my mind for this post, I was and still am apprehensive about talking about this on my blog. But I'm going to take our "To the Meat!!.." saying to heart, and make this post about what is really at the center of Charcutapalooza for me.

Not too long ago Big D and I adventured into baby making land.... Blindly, with the notion that in moments we would be blessed with a little Fraley to call our own. But as many of you know getting pregnant sometimes takes a little (or a LOT) longer than you could have expected. True to form, I immediately threw myself into every activity, job, craft, cure, etc in a desperate attempt to keep my mind off this process. A process which is supposed to be fun but at a certain point invariable becomes something stressful instead of joyful.

I didn't want to talk about this for a number of reasons. Um fear.. yeah, that's a big one. Fear about something being wrong with me, that is probably the #1 fear. Which is totally unfounded at this point. But every month that ticks by closer to that one year "Hey You're Infertile :)" mark... the anxiety starts to rise. Fear about other people judging or feeling bad for me, or giving the old "just stop trying advice." Ughghhh, I hate that and at this point if I try any less we will just stop having sex all together. I seriously almost cried when a former client of mine referenced our baby making as "Our little problem." Another fear, and I know it's a stupid one, but I'm sure some of you out there would understand.. is that Big D and I have been blessed, I mean amazingly blessed with material abundance beyond our wildest dreams. My worst fear is that there is some sort of cap on happiness. That of all the things I have been most fortunate to receive in this life I will have to be denied at least one thing. And this is the last thing people... the one little bundle between me and my dream life. It's a big fear.. A gnawing never ending fear in my heart that no amount of prosciutto is going to fix despite my best efforts.

So Charcutapalooza is an escape for me. Something constructive to do with my hands, where I can see results and feel good about a project that is entirely unrelated to baby making at all. In fact it revels in not being pregnant, as cured meats become a "no-no."

I don't know what I expect from writing this. I thought maybe it would help just to get it out of my head. And this pancetta is undoubtedly the most beautiful kitchen creation I have ever mustered. But despite it's beauty the more you try not to think about something the more it pops up... so here is my recipe...

Chicken Impregnated with Pancetta

Chicken Saltimbocca with home cured Pancetta

Needed:
Two chicken breasts cut in half the long way. ( I press my palm into the top of the breast and cut evenly down the center with a sharp knife. Risky business, so be careful, but it comes out really even that way.)
2 cups shredded stinky cheese (I used a 60 day aged Jack cheese from Gaia's breath farms. But in the past I have used Asiago cheese. Anything stinky and melty will work)
4 large sage leaves
8 thin cut Pancetta slices
1/2 Cup white Wine
1/2 lemon
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 cup flour seasoned with Salt, Garlic Powder, Pepper and Chili powder.
4 toothpicks

Preheat oven to 350 deg:

After slicing the breast in half pound them out until they are very thin. ( I do this between pieces of plastic wrap until the chicken is slightly translucent). Set them aside so they can get to room temp. In a frying pan over med heat cook the pancetta until crisp and put on paper towel to drain. Remove pan from heat but keep bacon fat for frying the Chicken later. Take a piece of chicken (lay it the long way)lay one sage leaf at the narrow end with 2 pieces pancetta on top . Take 1/4 of the grated cheese and place on top of the pancetta (I squeeze it in my palm into a rough log shape so it doesn't escape as much during frying). Roll tightly all the way up and secure with a toothpick. Continue with the other four pieces of chicken. Put the frying pan with the bacon grease back over med heat. Dredge all four Chicken rolls in the seasoned flour then add to the pan when hot. Sear the chicken on all sides then place in the heated oven on a baking sheet. Take the white wine and deglaze the pan making sure to get up all the tasty chicken and bacon bits off the surface. Reduce 2/3 then add the chicken stock. Reduce again by 1/2 and squeeze in the 1/2 lemon. Cook sauce until it thickens. Remove the chicken from the oven and return to the frying pan. Toss gently with the sauce then serve over anything ( I chose Swiss chard and teeny potatoes roasted with shallot)... it will taste awesome :)

xoxo
Fast Alice

Lil' Bitty Bacon!!

2011-02-13T17:19:00.000-08:00

I went to the Gossets Famer's Market on Saturday (as I do most Saturdays) and purchased the most beautiful Cheddar-Chili biscuits. They were just begging for an egg and some duck prosciutto bacon. They came out just sooooooo cute. Itty bitty baby bacon slices... almost too cute to eat. I stress almost because after a snapshot and a sigh this meal was devoured by Big D and I in no time flat.

Also..... our pancetta.. is done!!! I seriously can't wait until the 15th to blog about this. I don't think I have ever made anything I was quite so proud of. Making bacon comes with a satisfaction I just can't describe. I encourage you all to try it for yourself if you haven't already.

Valentine's day is just around the corner. Made up holidays always make me feel weird. Part of me wants to indulge and take advantage of any excuse to celebrate in February. The other part says.... Gross comercialism=lame. But at the end of the day I'm a sucker for those Russell-Stoffer chocolates (all dark if you are taking notes). I usually buy them for myself the day after Valentine's Day so I can get one of those HUGE boxes and eat them in bed and whisper.. I love you.. to myself in the mirror...lol. Only half of that is true buy it made me laugh thinking about it.

Happy Valentine's!!

xoxo
Fast Alice

Duck Prosciutto Take Two :)

2011-02-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the radio silence this weekend. But we had a lot going on here at the ol' Fort. It was our housewarming party this weekend. Complete with In-Laws and City friends galore. Seriously it was awesome... A lot of work. But awesome. For the party I decided to revisit the Duck prosciutto for our cheese plate. This time I did a few things differently. I did two different seasonings. One breast was cracked pepper encrusted the other Herbs de Provence. I used a scale to ensure that the breasts lost between 20-30% weight. They were much more firm this time and more cured through the center. I also used our new deli slicer to shave off super thin slices. Which worked AMAZINGLY well. We got our slicer at target online for $99 dollars and it was worth every penny. I already sliced meats for the party which would have cost easily $50 to buy at the deli so it already half paid for itself.

The prosciutto is hanging in our sun room. Gently veiled like a bride in cheesecloth. (I was worried it would leave a greasy stain on the wall...lol). I'm not gonna lie we sampled a little of the prosciutto that I trimmed when I was rolling/tying it... and it was CRACK. It is taking all my power to keep from running outside and licking it right now... Sigh. Seven days!!! Arrrghghghhh (shakes fist at the sky).

But I have this to console myself with..

Hello Lover...

(Duck Prosciutto and pear)

Hey.. Shorty!!!

2011-01-29T16:34:00.000-08:00

Short Ribs the other day!!! Huge Success.. The Dover sole I made tonight... Fail :( Whaaa Waaaa Mostly because I thought there was some beer (or as a lovingly call it Ghetto white wine) left to deglaze a pan. But lets not dwell on our failures shall we, I'll get to those ribs later.

Big D and I were also very productive today. We went back to our old apartment in Queens to pick up the very last of our stuff. I got pretty choaked up guys.. Not that I'm not happy to be where I am now. Our new home is amazing and I have no regrets. But I was a little overwhelmed at leaving a place where so many big events happened for us. I really loved that space, it was the first home I ever shared with a person I was dating. It was where Big D proposed to me after a beautiful dinner (pork chops, funny enough STL). It was where we returned and lived for the first time as husband and wife. It was where we started our journey together and it was harder to say goodbye than I thought it would be. Not to mention that I have been a total tear machine for the last few days. Ughghggg... hormones I hate you.. hisssssss. So that didn't make it any easier.

Anywho, back to the ribs. I used the Thomas Keller recipe for boneless short ribs. However, the bone in short ribs were on sale so I went with those. Big D is also a bone knawer so I figured old Thom would be cool with it. I'm not gonna lie. This recipe was an afternoon in the making, which I was glad to spare and it was totally worth the time. The meat came out tender and delicious and the reduction from the braising liquid was quite possible the best reduced sauce I have ever made. I also have about a quart and a half of left over braising liquid to use to braise again or reduce at my leisure. Pretty much a big win.

I served the short rib with mashed turnips (one of my favs) and creamed pearl onions (Bid D's fav) For the short Rib Recipe go here. I also substituted fennel for the leeks in the recipe because I didn't have leeks but it was just fine.

Time to go back to spinning and watch Big D play "Fall Out: New Vegas."

xoxo
Fast Alice

PS. I picked up my belly today and it is amazing!! Can't wait to blog about the Salt Cure.. How am I supposed to wait until the 15th.. ARRGGGGG!!!

Ho.. Hum... and Ravioli with Duck Prociutto

2011-01-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

So I started my two new jobs this past week and so far so good. The health food store job is really fun. But everyone there keeps telling me about how much better it was before the owners sold to a big investment company. Apparently, the small chain of 6 stores was sold a few months ago to some big Canadian investment company and things have been going downhill since. Not so much in sales but just in ease of day to day operations. I'm sure sure most of you know the story... great place run by a family, amazing to employees taken over by evil bureaucracy with a new manager every day, nothing getting done, yaada yadda. Just the general shittyness that ensues when it becomes all about turning a profit and everyone is expendable.

So despite liking it in terms of what I'm actually doing all day, it's kinda been a bummer. I'm not sure if it's just the general moral being down but now I feel really down too. And believe me folks I have 100% nothing to be upset about. The biggest tragedy in my life right now is having a gloriously inconsistent e-flat above High C. It is either totally amazing or completely non existent and I mean like.... whoa.. cry me a river over that one right.

So in an effort to rally myself out of this totally unnecessary malaise lets talk about things that are great!!

I found a provider of natural pork and other meats. It is called Gaia's Breath farm and they have a stand at my local farmers market. They have a limited variety of items at the market but you can put in an order and they will have it for you the following Saturday for pick up. They also have a CSA that can be delivered Saturdays to my market too so I'm considering this as well. Not only am I receiving my belly this weekend but the owner Mark is totally into charcuterie and willing to answer questions and help. I also purchased 2lbs of pork back fat to freeze for future sausages and confit. I'll let you know how the curing etc goes once the belly is mine!!

My ravioli came out great the other night. The stuffing was a little dry but other than that it was fab. It was my first time making ravioli solo and I was pretty happy with the outcome. I used the Thomas Keller recipe for Agnolotti dough. It worked great. However, I was really sceptical that it was coming out right. The dough was REALLY dry.. I mean really. I was convinced that my eggs, despite being large, were undersized making a less moist dough. Perhaps I was right or perhaps it was the magic of Thomas Keller and it was totally fine the whole time.

Pretty nice right!! They were filled with chestnuts, garlic, parsley, Romano, home made ricotta, salt and pepper.

The finished dish: Chestnut Ravioli with a sauce of duck prociutto, carrots, cherries, and white wine over Khale.

It was pretty tasty, next time I need to get two quarts of milk to make my Ricotta though. If I had a little more cheese the filling would have had a better texture. Tonight I'm making the braised short ribs out of the Ad Hoc cookbook. I'll keep you posted if it comes out great :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

TailSpin

2011-01-22T09:38:00.001-08:00

Thus far I have been very true to my word about projects. The duck was cured and it was time to begin spinning. I had been reading the book I bought about spinning. In fact I read it twice just to be sure I knew what the hell I was doing. I also watched a few videos on how to spin on Youtube, check out my fav here. I was pretty nervous about starting.

Just as a reminder my Aunt was kind enough to give me a beautiful bunch of wool roving made from the sheep she raises on our family farm. She told me that it was Shetland wool and was prized among spinners as a great wool to work with. I didn't want to waist a single fiber I was so honored that she gave me some!! It takes almost a year to get the wool processed and it costs extra to get back the same wool you put in (think of it like a wool bank but it's cheaper to put in wool and just get back equal weight). The bag she gave me even has a Ewe number so we know exactly which sheep it came from.

So I read took notes and decided exactly what I was going to make. I wanted a thick warm soft yarn to make something cozy. I chose to make a Woolen double plied (two strands spun together after you spin two singles) with an S twist. Choosing a plied yarn required more spinning. First the singles then spinning the two singles together. Although it is harder I figured it would give me more practice of the mechanics of spinning. That way even if the outcome wasn't too fantastic I would have felt I truly took advantage of having such great material to work with. And behold!!!!!..... I give you... Yarn!

Not bad for a first try right??!!

It isn't totally even, but it did come out better than I expected. And the Color!!! Who could think of dying this wool it is just soooo pretty. I love the grey and it has little black fibers too.

So I was feeling pretty confident folks.. pretty confident indeed. My Duck came out beautiful, my spinning was great and then I moved on the the pork belly.. and low and behold!!! It is like impossible to get it around here... Whaaaaa Wahhh. I found one butcher who could get it but I would have to buy the whole belly. Aprox 20lbs, plus what they wanted per pound just did not make it feasible on our budget. I went to our local farmer's market today and I may have some success there but I have to wait for the owners to respond to my email. And I need pancetta right now!!!! Well, maybe need is a strong word. I have everything ready to go, salts, juniper berries, deli slicer, but no pork. But I do have a back up plan... Guancialle. If I can't get or afford a belly I will go with cheek.. So There Universe!! Hah! You shall not thwart my curing!! I could also have Big D get one from the meat market in NYC. But I'm trying so hard to go all natural peeps, so hard. And it is even more important with a really fatty cut of meat to have good quality. So if I have to do cheeks, I'll do'em... Sigh.

Now on to home made Chestnut Ravioli. My Saturday project :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

Pasta Maven

2011-01-18T17:34:00.000-08:00

Glorious success my friends in the pasta department!! OMG.. I had waayy to much fun and my first fettuccini (tear) came out just great. I can't lie I had a couple of practice runs with supervision so I felt pretty confident going solo. Big D was pretty impressed. Although we differ slightly in our idea of ideal doneness in pasta. I like mine very aldente so it has some bite. He prefers more well done. I got my way since I made the meal and it was complete pasta heaven.

My lovely pasta strained and ready for sauce.

I will leave the blogging of this recipe to STL. But all I will say is that is was soooooo good when she made it for us that I had to make it again the next night... Yeah.. that good. Making my own pasta was totally a pretense.

Oh and pork bellies beware.. I am ready for you!! Muahahahahahahaaaa

xoxo
Fast Alice

My Foot is tapping...

2011-01-16T13:40:00.001-08:00

So the festivities of yesterday evening have ended and I'm stuck home with Big D feeling that kind of feeling you get when the run of a show is over. Not that I have had even the slightest feeling of malaise since we moved here but having my Besties over did make me realize how far away they are :( But I just remind myself that although there are many more miles between us, in actual commuting time they are only an extra 20 minutes further on the train than when we lived in Queens. This idea picked me up enough to gets to house cleaning.

My wonderful StepMom gave Big D and I the Shark Steam Mop as a house warming gift. Invariably despite my excitement it has managed to sit in the closet since we moved in until today. After a grueling hunt for distilled water I was able to use it and the results were very nice!!! It was light, easy to use, and has washable pads that clean the floor. We have been really trying to go Green here at Fort Fraley. The steam kills the bacteria without cleaner and left the floor looking pretty awesome. My only complaint if I had to make one would be that it was a little more difficult to push than I anticipated. Not heavy, just the resistance of the floor made it a little tough. Even writing this I feel like a weenie, I know someone is going.... Um... isn't she a personal trainer... and Yeah!! I AM.. SO WHAT!! My arms get tired too sometimes.. especially when you are hopelessly right handed. If I could have switched to my left I wouldn't feel so pooped. Also, the whole downstairs of the house got cleaned today which is no small feet trust me. But it only took me maybe 45 minutes, including vacuuming time prior to mopping so not bad. If you are looking to Green up your house I say go for it. Now if only I could cure my HORRIBLE addiction to paper towels. I'm trying people I am!!

My curing salts don't come in until Tuesday and I really can't stand the wait. I'm just sooooo eager to get started. However, I did purchase a food scale at Costco so now I can check weights instead of using a crystal ball to tell when meats are done. My deli slicer should be coming this week too. My plan is to kill the anticipation by trying to make home made pasta tonight.... SOLO. I was lucky enough to have The Boss supervising me the last two times. But I feel ready. I'll let you know how it goes.

Time to go back to the fire and finish reading Emma :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

Charcutepalooza January!!

2011-01-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

Duck Prosciutto

So as I mentioned before I am taking part in Charcutepalooza: The Year of Meat. The first challenge was of course Duck Prosciutto which I have posted on previously. But the duck... she is a done!!! I unveiled our pretty duck boobies yesterday afternoon and much to my great excitement they seem to have come out just great. I was a little concerned that our temporary loss of heat may have affected the outcome so I let them sit in our heated porch (which I left at 50deg) about 2 extra days. In all honesty I think they could have perhaps used one more day. I also don't have a scale so I didn't do any of that useful weighing stuff that may have saved me some anxiety. I pretty much just went by a.. does it still feel squishy?... methodology. Hopefully I won't end up with crazy food poisoning. But who is a real adventurous chef without a little food poisoning.... Another thing was my (duck) breasts were HUGE. I was wondering why they were so expensive at the Butcher.

This is a regular size cutting board and you can see they easily take up most of the width... Crazy. A few things about the outcome. I was really surprised by how tasty the fat was. I mean, of course fat usually makes things taste good. But I'm really much more of a lean meat person. I get totally turned off by blubbery chewy fat. It is just not a texture I enjoy. I was concerned that this recipe would yield a product with a lot of chewy fat and that I wouldn't like it. However, I was pleasantly surprised that curing the fat made it firm, velvety and delicious. Not at all what I expected. Plus, I love that this will keep in my fridge for a few weeks. This is totally a rich treat and I can't imagine having to gobble it up without sharing with company. I also have to put it out there that the duck didn't really make me think of eating prosciutto. It has such a deep minerally taste it really reminded me more of a red meat rather than pork. Almost like venison. If you want to get all technical game birds and wild animals usually have more endurance based muscle fibers to help them keep alive in the wild, hence the darker meat with a deeper taste... BAM!!! Personal trainer knowledge!!

Anywho.. next week is the Salt Cure and I already have my Pink salt and juniper berries on the way. As well as my new meat slicer. I am just writhing with excitement people. I just can't wait to make some pancetta, which Big D and friends lovingly call Super-bacon. Happy Curing and I can't wait to give you more job news soon :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

SNOoooooooowww!!

2011-01-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

So crazy CRAZY snow out there people. I have to admit things could be worse though. Being snowed in with my Hubby and crazy kitty are pretty awesome. As was our annual trip to Vermont this past weekend. Holy Hell was that just about the best time ever. Nothing compares with the food, friends and skiing we were privledged enough to enjoy. Big D and I look forward to it all year long and it did not disappoint. Some highlights? Skiing on fresh powder, playing with STL's beautiful baby boy, making pasta with The Boss, and playing a kick ass new version of trivial pursuit. What is not to love.

Not the best time ever was our furnace failing to start yesterday evening when we arrived home from work. Thank God we have a fireplace and had just arrived home with some wood. Also, the heating company was pretty great about getting here and fixing the damn thing. Ahhh Platinum service.. how glad I was to have paid for you. It still doesn't seem to be running totally right but they are coming back in February to clean it out. All things you never knew about as a renter. Along with paying for garbage service, water pumps, septic systems, and how insane taxes really are. Not that I am complaining.. AT ALL. To be honest if we had any idea about all this stuff we would have been totally overwhelmed. Being thrown in the deep end and forced to swim is in my opinion sometimes waaaay better than the alternative. I guess for me the terror of dealing with an new and scary situation is better than the anxiety of knowing and feeling the weight of impending responsibility upon you.. but I digress.

In the world of crazy arts and meat crafts things are going well. The Duck Prociutto seems to be well on its way. Technically it was supposed to be done tonight but the lack of heat I fear may have stunted the drying process a tad. Just to be safe I'm going to give them another 24-36 hours. I'm pretty sure they are close to done though from the texture of the meat. I also ordered a deli meat slicer with a gift card from the wedding as well as other meat curing supplies in anticipation of future pancetta. Mmm.... pancetta. Fingers crossed that it is next on the Charcutapalooza list :) I also read about half of the book on hand spinning today. I managed to totally ignore the laundry and dishes despite the snow and being home all day but whose judging.

I start my first new job on Friday. I'm very excited.. a little too excited. I keep wanting to go in and wander around the store and check things out. But I don't want to seem stalkerish before I even start. I also am dyyyying to know what kind of discount we get on stuff there. The other job, maybe next week. We shall see. I just hope they are fun and low stress. I can't tell you what being out of the city has done for my stress level. Sheesh I feel like a different person. I don't know how I tolerated living at such an excellerated pace for so long. Don't get me wrong there are things I love about NYC. But the little knot of anxiety it put in the center stomach 99% of the time was not one of them.

It's pretty hard to be stressed with this little guy on your lap. Or cold for that matter :)

xoxo,
Fast Alice

Oh Yee of Little faith

2011-01-05T15:13:00.000-08:00

So didn't think I'd be back did you!! Well HA!! Here I am blogging and making good on all my ideas for Fort Fraley.

First news of the day. I got a job! Hoooraaay! And not one job but two.. my goodness! I was hired at the personal training place. It seems great and the hours are of course flexible. The health food store also hired me to work in there vitamin isle and do some part time cashiering. Not very glam but $ is $ and a discount on health food is a big eff-Yeah for me so it will be a good gig.

Now I have to tell my old job I'm leaving :( I feel pretty sad about it. I've really enjoyed working at the Health Club I'm at right now. I've made some great friends and love LOVE my clients. It will be very sad for me to leave. But it will be for the best, one of us needs to be near the house. It is just easier that way. I also have to find another day to see my amazing voice teacher Deb. I have been singing up a storm these last few months and I have a list of competitions I want to do this year, so for you city dwellers I will be around at least one day a week still.

On to the projects. Spin your own yarn you say?? Really.. Well Yeah and I have the book to prove it.

That's right!! I should have taken a picture of the beautiful wool I got from my Aunt but alas I forgot.

And now my Spindle of awesomeness... I don't know how to use it yet. But I will friends.. I will.

Curing meats, my new hobby as outlined by this amazing book. I can't tell you how I nerded out when I opened this. Home made sauerkraut people!! and sausage!!

The duck prosciutto I already started. Hanging in the hallway next to the garage. I'm a little worried about it being too chilly in there but we shall see.

The ideal costume for the day.. Can you hear the banjo's playing? Hello Country! I'm here to stay!

Next on the agenda, pack for Vermont. Oh Man... soooooo excited.

My Breasts are Salted...

2011-01-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Alright, well, my duck breasts are salted. As we discussed earlier curing meats was on my to do list of new house fantasies and thanks to STL my first project is on the way!! I am proudly taking part in Charcutapalooza. In fact I was so excited about Charcutapalooza that I started this project without the book I actually ordered from Amazon to be part of the fun. It will be here on Thursday, approximately three days into my cure. What am I making you ask???? Duck Prosciutto.. only the most delicious sounding thing ever!!

This was only a teeny tiny portion of my day however. I somehow managed to job hunt applying at three different places. A new age book store, a health food store, and a personal training facility. All three looked awesome and I have an interview Wednesday about the personal training job, which is cool. I also did laundry, made some stock, went to the post office...

A note on the post office. Our post office is like something in a Norman Rockwell painting. It is run by one guy named Charlie who remembers every ones name and address. He is always slightly red faced and smiling with all those little boxy thingies behind him. The first time I went in to inquire as to why we don't have a mail box (something I will discuss along with a ton of other things you don't know until you live in a house) I almost fell over with amazement and joy. Especially since the last post office I was in was on 42nd and 8th and a postwoman was walking through the place screaming "We ARe Closing, get all your Christmas shit filled out Now because we will NOT wait for you." A more apparent contrast between city and country I have yet to see.

Anywho.. it was a very productive day. Aaaaaaand I blogged. Sweet... check that one off the list and now I only have to make tacos :)

xoxo

Fast Alice

Once in a Lifetime...

2011-01-02T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm BAAAAAaaaaaack!!!
You know I debated with myself about writing that. I figured I was truly in some way jinxing myself. I know...super classy to have two posts in a row, over a year apart hailing my glorious return. Hopefully, this one will be for reals. Well, it is at least my intention and I feel like I have tons of stuff to talk about!! Yay!

So I'm almost certain at this point I have only 1 reader left. STL.. here's looking at you kid. Aaaaad you already know every detail of my life right now. But lets just overlook this as an exercise in futility and chock it up to blogging practice.
Ok.. for beginners lets start where I left off. The fairy tale goes something like this..
On October 22, 2009 a mere 2 months after my last post Big D, distracted me long enough from my domestic bliss to propose to me. I of course in a moment of lady like glory accepted while using the F word approximately 37 times. Truly a story to tell the grand kids.. AWESOME!

Then in great haste we began to plan our wedding. In such haste in fact that along with becoming a personal trainer prob killed the little blogging time I had. We had lots of good times planing with exciting things like our wedding venue cancelling on us two months before the wedding... Awesome!! But it was truly all for the best as the venue we ended up using was just perfect. And on May 30, 2010 we began our journey as married peeps.

AWwwwwwwww :)

We then spent 10 days in Costa Rica which was just about the most amazing thing ever...
I will post our honeymoon video for your enjoyment at a later date.. Don't worry. Nothing expicit.. sheeesh. Although, I don't blame you for thinking so with my history.

And about six months into our married life we were afforded a most amazing opportunity to be home owners. To which we said... um.. Hell Yeah!!!! And we moved up to Westchester into our beautiful new home.

Fort Fraley under the snow.

So that pretty much catches you up. We moved in on the 22 of December and have just started to get ourselves acclimated. Which pretty much means that we are occasionally able to stop ourselves from walking around the house blubbering with amazement long enough to make a coherent sentence.
Let me just tell you peeps. I have plans... BIG plans for Fort Fraley. In my imagination I envision a world of green living, planting, harvesting, curing meats, raising chickens, spinning yarn, making stock, entertaining, singing, needle working and much much more. How far along I get on these projects is yet to be seen but I honestly have started doing all of these things. Well at least the first steps to doing these things... and while I'm looking for a new job up here in the burbs I will have time to work on projects. That is provided I am able to stop smoking the new house crack long enough to get anything done...

I will post again!!!

xoxo

Fast Alice

Back from the Dead!

2009-08-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

Okay.. I'm officially the worst blogger in history. I know.. I know.. If it is any consolation I was moving/studying/finding a new job. Not really an excuse for massively neglecting my readers, not to mention my friends. But hopefully new posts and dinner parties at my new place will let me creep back into your hearts.

So.. the move. Big D and I finally moved into our beautiful new apartment. It is a huge two bedroom with more light than I have seen in ages. We also have an amazing private deck which will host many a BBQ to come. All this... located in the heart of Astoria.. Land of amazing Greek food (OMG I just had a weird Price is Right moment.. I almost ended that sentence with " AND A NEW CAR!!!!")

I pretty much have spent every spare moment since we got here in the kitchen cooking. It just feels so good to actually have all the equipment I need to make a meal. My kitchen bliss is also allowing me to overlook the fact that we still have no chairs for our kitchen table, there is about 1/2 a truck load of stuff in the hall for goodwill, my closet has been taken over by rogue battalion of shoes and I can't find a Goddamn European pillow to save my life. But who gives a shit.. I'm making Zuppa Toscana.

The move itself was relatively painless. With the exception that our staircase is almost impossible to navigate with furniture. Our bed frame and box spring had to be lifted over the third floor balcony with ropes.. ehhhhhh.. My teeth are grinding just thinking of it. Our biggest concern were the couches my Father was nice enough to give us. But by some miracle, the sky parted and God smiled down and said "my children this couch was made by me and can be broken into teeny tiny pieces, so none of you will have to risk death or property damage." And A-Fricken-Men for that, I don't think my blood pressure could have taken another trip over the balcony.

So now I'm sitting comfy cozy in my almost unpacked house.. a very happy housefrau. Life is grand. I will upload pictures as soon as I figure out how the get them onto this MacContraption from my PC.

xoxo

Fast Alice

PS. sometime for fun I am going to post a blog that is un-spellchecked.. I'm sure it would be entertaining for all. I always get a good giggle at how wrong I am... sheesh

Look Ma... I'm blogging!!

2009-06-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it!! I have a minute to blog... Yaaaaaaay! That said, I don't have much to talk about. Hmmmm... ok. I'll find something.

1. I got my study books in the mail for my ACSM test. (American College of Sports Medicine, personal trainer exam) For those of you that know, I spent six months studying anatomy for yoga so initially I felt like this test would be a breeze. I opened the books and everything I already know... was in the first chapter. And the other 13 chapters are what look like hieroglyphics and strange mathematical equations. Thank God I'm a smart cookie, otherwise I don't think I would have had the courage to swallow back the puke in my mouth and try to actually learn the stuff. Also, Big Daddy is taking the test with me so at least I have the worlds best study buddy.

2. For some reason sound travels really strangely in my building. The rooms are pretty much sound proof within the apartment itself..... yay for us considering we have like 6 of us living here right now. However, we can hear every minute of the wild Mexican fiestas from next door and every scream from my upstairs neighbors who apparently watch nothing but Jurassic Park over and over. I actually looked over at the glass of water near my bed and saw the sound ripples. Worse yet if it isn't the T-Rex clomping upstairs they have on televangelist music that has the same 5 reverberating chords in the base line for every song..... obviously my favorite thing to wake me up at 10am when I got home from work at 4.

3. Funniest thing ever: One of the new girls at work came up to my manager and asked.."Hey this guy ordered a bottle of champagne and asked where he could throw up in the same sentence... should I serve him?" The really funny part is the manager said YES!!

4. Verizon is experiencing a national outage for some of their pda services... so I can't send texts. Super!

5. The Amoralist theater company's show, "The Pied Pipers of the Lower East Side" opens this evening. The next post will be an add for them.

6. I am missing my friends more than ever... Tigerlily and Boss!! I miiiiisss you. I was on a really good clip where I was socializing almost every other week with you cool kids. This is always the crappy part of the summer where they have us work too much until they get the hang of the way the season rolls. Hopefully, by then you will still want to be friends with me.... Whaaaaa!

That's pretty much it kids.. I'll be back when the universe gives me a few more seconds of free time.

xoxo
Fast Alice

Survival mode

2009-06-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

Soooo.... I tried to put up a post from my blackberry. Uhhh.. THAT was a failure, Lol. It resulted in a post that was entirely blank. Classy.

As says the title that is currently the mode I'm in. I'm working too much too often and pretty much want to kill myself. As you may have guessed from my last post. My job is the last place on the planet I want to spend any amount of time and I have been stuck there 40+ hours a week. The only thing that has been keeping me from jumping off the rooftop is the fact I now have an exit strategy. I have books coming in the mail to help me study for the American College of Sports Medicine Cpt exam. The minute I get them I'm going to devour them.... just to be doing something active to get myself into a better work environment will feel amazing. I'm so sick of having anxiety before every shift. I also can't wait to resume my life.... see my friends especially and perhaps have an actual weekend off!!

Today was amazingly one of my lighter days schedule wise... after my work study shift at TBG. I helped Big Daddy and the Amoralists set up for their show at PS122. More to come on the performance. While there I was introduced to a couple of YouTube gems I thought I would pass on.

1. The Literal Video of Total Eclipse of the Heart. Hilarity... the lyrics are what is going on in the video. This reminds me fondly of karaoke.. sigh... November

2. Dimitri the Stud. Let me just say that this man is KING of the douchebags and I'm sure he holds court at the Ganz. If I haven't served this man I drink I would be shocked.

Enjoy!
xoxo
Fast Alice

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGggggghhhh!!

2009-05-18T08:11:00.001-07:00

So just when it seems I finally have time to blog again, I get sideswiped!!! But the news is good!

First: I was actually hired to teach yoga!!! Yaaaay! So I will be working HERE and teaching weekly. I will hopefully know by the end of the week the day and time of the class. When I do I cordially invite anyone who can make it to be my guest. Just email me first, as I can only have one guest per day. The facilities are beautiful and they have an amazing pool as well if you care for yoga and a swim.

Second: I booked an Under 5 line part on "All My Children." Okay... to those that know me. I do these pretty often so its not a huge deal. But it has made my schedule all wonky since I have to make time to shoot. I will update you with an air date when I have one if anyone cares to watch the real life hotel waitress basically play one on TV.

Third: The reading I performed in at TBG was last night. So I basically haven't slept since Wednesday and probably wont have a chance to sleep again until next Wednesday... sigh

Okay if you were just interested in an update and you really don't feel like listening to a disgruntled waitress rant.... please feel free to stop reading NOW.

Just some things that annoy the shit out of a waitress.....

Don't Touch the Signs!!! If you see a reserved sign on a table don't touch it.... Please. I am constantly baffled by the ass clowns that come to my job and take the signs off the table.

OK. If you take the sign off the table. Surprise Surprise... it is STILL reserved. But now I have to go through the process of pointing out the fact that you have stolen my sign... I need it back .... yes the table is still reserved.. and you are an asshole. My personal favorite is when I see people move/hide my sign and then LIE to me that they haven't seen it... For REAL.. are you people five. Please save me the embarrassment of having to catch you red handed and pull the sign out of your purse... I ACTUALLY did that once.. Also, how do you think that's not stealing. I wouldn't walk into your office, take a stapler off your desk and put it in my purse.

More important:

Don't Touch ME! If you don't know me, personally, as a VERY close friend, Do Not touch me. It's just weired. I am amazed and disgusted at the amount of men who feel free to put there hands all over me while I'm working. I can't tell you how many times some dude leans in and give me a "Where's the bathroom, babe" and puts his greasy meat head hands all around my waste and sometime even on or approaching my ass. I usually respond by removing their hand with disdain and give it back to them. Not to use the office example twice... but can you imagine someone doing this to a women in a business suit... at a meeting??? I think not.

Also, the kissing on the cheek thing. PLEASE don't kiss me on either cheek to say thanks for every Goddamn gin and tonic I bring you. I'm not french... chances are you aren't either. it doesn't make you look more cultured it just makes you look stupid.

In addition please feel free to can the baby, honey/ your so beautiful lines. Seriously, I don't mean to be a bitch but I know I'm a cute girl.... and I certainly don't think that makes me better than anyone. It's genetics people. I'm not impressed when you pick up on the first thing you notice about me and try to ingratiate yourself. There is only one man who's opinion on this subject counts... and he thinks I'm beautiful with a fever and my head in a toilet.. So THERE!

I know I have covered a variety of these topics already... but I figured a little review never hurts. I now relinquish my soap box and encourage anyone else who would like to comment to jump right on.

xoxo

Fast Alice

OMG... So Glad this was on her way to Oscar Glory!!

2009-05-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

Question: Have you ever seen THIS movie??? If you don't know, I am somewhat of an HBO/Showtime on Demand nut.. I'll watch them all: bad series, good series, crazy movies of the past, classics and my favorite... ALL time favorite is Cheesy horror flicks.. It was because of this I stumbled upon this gem... "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation." See the trailer HERE.
Amazingly enough the cast includes...

Matthew McConaughey as Vilmer... (OK.. imagine the king of the RomCom playing a sadistic super killer.... Hilarious)

Renee Zelwiger as Jenny... (former scream queen turned Oscar winner... hmmm.. so glad this was part of her rise to greatness. It gives all us actors who have appeared in terrible films hope)

Robert Jacks as Leather face (apparently his career culminated in this movie.. surprise surprise)

Tyler Cone as Barry (Tyler actually is a ringer for the love child of my Ex and his best friend (also male btw). So I actually didn't feel too bad when leather face donned an axe and put him out of his bad acting misery) Tyler's career ended with the ever popular.... "A Trolls Bridge." Any one see this one???......... Beuler??

All this aside... this movie was a great... GREAT laugh. Check it out if you want to waste 90 minutes of your life...

xoxo
Fast Alice

As a disclaimer.. I would add I totally DO respect these actors for giving a terrible film their all... It is the writers and producers who should be whipped for this shameful piece of cinema.

Auction Photos!!!... and some random food pix

2009-05-07T12:32:00.001-07:00

As promised here are photos from The Barrow Groups 15th Annual Celebrity Doodles Auction and Gala. It really was a fun time. I really regret not inviting more of my friends to it. Also, the space, Studio 420, was really beautiful. Perfect spot for any event.. even a wedding.

The registration table..

Some of the Doodles.. It was really hard to take visible pictures because it was soooooo bright..

The Live Auction items.. including Doodles from Glenn Close and Al Pacino.

Other items.. a scarf hand woven and embroidered listed at a $3000 value and a 5 night stay at Atlantis...

My dessert for the Apprentice bake-off.. Chocolate covered strawberries with tuxedos and TBG logo.. at this point I hadn't discovered the micros function on my new camera (sorry for the glare)

Fast Alice and Harmony

Introducing... Dun..Dun.. Dun.. Big Daddy

This is a little overdue, as he has been my partner in crime for most of the past year.

Love, Love, Love this Man!

Fast Alice and Big D.

Daddy won this for Alice at the silent auction... :)

Again, Next year I will get more info out to you peeps regarding this event. I can't tell you what a great time it was. Also, all the proceeds go to The Barrow Group which is a not for profit organization and produces GREAT theater.

And NOW random food Pictures!!

Amazing mussels.. made by the fab Sainttigerlily! In fact I must credit her with all these food pictures... we have always enjoyed cooking together and these mussle pix inspired me to start taking more of the fruits of my kitchen....

French Onion soup. This is hands down the most delicious meal I have ever created.. again, thanks to Sainttigerlily for the recipe. (Hey girlie toss me the link to that online so I can put it here). However, I did substitute, IPA beer for the port wine, and boiled some stock bones in the broth to make it a little more rich.

Simple but amazing. Steak made to perfection by Big D and a loaded baked potato made by moi. I got thinly sliced pancetta and fried it off to use as the bacon crumbles... AMAZING. I will never use regular bacon for this purpose again. Also, you can tell I finally figured out the micros function!!! So this picture is more than a blurry mess...

I'll be back soon..

xoxo

Fast Alice

Cinco de Mayo... or whatever it is

2009-05-05T09:08:00.001-07:00

It occurred to me that two May 5ths ago I was having a lovely party on a sun-filled deck with my new roomie Sainttigerlily. Sigh.... the rain today makes me long for a time machine... even if it just took me back to last Saturday and the awesome deck/planting party. But I have to admit.. the rain is just about the only thing I would change in my life right now... everything else is going swimmingly

Please forgive the lack of bloggage. As I mentioned a post or two ago.. ie. in January, I have been one very busy lady. Forgive me again for disappearing "down the rabbit hole," so to speak. Now that some of my responsibilities in the auction department are over, I intend to blog like I mean it!!!

Let me give you the latest run down in the world of Fast Alice.....

1. Yoga: I finished my 200 hour certification at Yoga Sutra in Feb. So I am now a certified yoga teacher!!! Yay. I have been hired to sub at the Manhattan Plaza Health Club, which is BEAutiful. I am also willing to give my friends or interested parties a serious discount for private sessions... please email me to book some time.

2. Acting: I am still apprenticing with The Barrow Group. Much of my time in the last three months had been dedicated to working on the Celebrity Doodles Auction which was last evening. I was assigned the job of Doodle Master, ie. the Queen of cultivating celebrities to donate their artistic abilities and decorate an 5x7 piece of paper which we in turn auction to the highest bidder. The auction itself was a blast. I (along with the help of my fellow apprentichi) were able to get 37 celebrities, including Glenn Close, Steve Martin, Al Pacino, John Travolta and the like to participate. I'm still waiting to hear how much the gala raised overall. Hopefully, it was a great success.

I will be performing at The Barrow Group in a reading of "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot" by Stephen Adly Guirgis. I am performing the role of Satan. To those that know me... this will come as no surprise. The reading will take place:

Sunday May 17th at 7pm at:

The Barrow Group

312 W 36th St. 3rd Fl

New York, NY 10018

It is free and open to the pubic as part of our in class reading series.

I will also be performing with the Amoralists theater company in their next "Zeitgeist" performance. I'll post details when I have them. Please check out the Amoralists website as they are producing a really funny show right now at PS122.

I just recently updated my Carleigh's Space blog with headshots, resume, reel etc. I am currently looking for Commercial representation and a new Modeling agency for print. I'll keep you posted on the search. I have a secret strategy in place to make millions... MuuuahAHAHAh... if it works you'll be the first to know.

3. Singing: Okay... we all know I haven't been doing much singing these last few ....achhemmmm... years. But that is going to change... Mark my words. I am going to organize a concert in the next few months. Ideally of art songs and some arias. If you play the piano classically and want to accompany for free... Let Me know!!!! Or if you have a church with a great acoustic space, I will happily donate my time and any money raised can go to a charity of their choice.

4. The Fast Alice Glass and Lady C show: Here is the rundown.. my computer is crazy low on disc space which has put a serious glitch in show production. Also, the lack of free time has been a factor. Good news though!! We have an awesome theme song which I can't wait to use and as soon as I free up some Gigs I WILL have a new episode for you!

That pretty much sums it up!! Let me know if I forgot anything. I will post some pix from the auction asap.

xoxo

Fast Alice

TBG Doodle Auction

2009-05-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

Don’t miss The 15th Annual Celebrity TBG Doodles Auction on Monday, May 4th, 2009!
This lively annual fundraising event auctions celebrity drawings, theatre tickets, and other merchandise to raise funds for our educational programming and our critically acclaimed Main Stage and Studio Theatre Productions. In addition to the auction, each year TBG honors theatre professionals for their excellence in theatre.
This year TBG is honoring former TBG Board President Jeff Dine and Tony Award Winners Judith Ivey and Nathan Lane!
Past honorees include actors Ann Reinking, Anne Hathaway, Denis O’Hare, Allen Coulter, (Director Hollywoodland) and Frank Carucci.
Location: Studio 450 at 450 W. 31st Street in midtown Manhattan - 6:30pm - 10:30pm

Hope you can make it!! I am currently an apprentice at The Barrow Group and this is a great event and all proceeds go to support the theater group and school.

xoxo
Fast Alice

I'm Back!!

2008-11-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! I know... I know it has been forever!!! Forgive me. So here is the rundown of my life in the last month.... Um....

School, School, work, School and more School.

As you may have been able to detect I have gone back to.... School. This time to be a yoga instructor. I have been busy completing my 200hr certification at Yoga Sutra. So far it is amazing and I am loving every minute of it. However, amidst my other endeavors it has put a cramp in my blogging/production schedule. I also have a wonderful apprenticeship with The Barrow Group theater company. In fact I will be performing this Friday in a reading of "U.S. Drag" by Gina Gionfriddo. But have no fear... I am going to make a concerted effort to keep you posted on my comings and goings. Also, another episode of Fast Alice and Lady C is in the works, this time with a fab new theme song (if I can figure out how to add it to the credits...lol).

I will keep you posted!!

Muah*

Fast Alice

Better Late Than Never!!

2008-08-10T20:01:00.001-07:00

Ok Peeps... I know I have been m.i.a. for sometime now.. Forgive me, I have good reason. I've been busy of course with work but also with rehearsals... I'm performing a short play in a scenes night called "Zeitgeist." That said the performance is um....... tomorrow. Now that I've basically given you all no warning... come if you can make it. It will def be a good time!!

Here's the info:

Monday, August 11, 2008

8pm

The Gene Frankel Underground

24 Bond Street (Take the R/W to 6th street, or the 6 to Bleeker)

Rockin' in Vegas!!

2008-07-30T08:59:00.001-07:00

I travel to Las Vegas twice a year to model shoes... and if you know me, you know that typically I have no love for Vegas. I mean, I'm not going to bitch about a paid vacation but I pretty much would rather it be in just about any other place. However, I'm pleased to report that this trip has been unusually fun. Which I attribute primarily to my friend Lolita, and the fact that after 6 trips here I think I have finally found a way to enjoy it.
Carleigh's recipe for fun if you are a Vegas hater:
1/4 work at job or other specified project (ie. memorizing, script reading, writing,) Please substitute to suit your needs.
1/4 Alone time in hotel room hiding from creepy leering men, prostitutes or women that dress or act like prostitutes, and all the blinking jangling bleeping machines, bachelor/bachelorette parties etc.
1/4 Physical activity or Pool time (I chose yoga and the spa, with a smidgen of pool time)
1/4 Night on the town (please note clubbing need not apply, for a healthy option choose private parties, or fancy dinners)

Combine in any order and mix slowly.

Thanks to my recipe for success this is what my trip looked like....

Enjoying the last 40 mins of sunlight after work...

oh, and a pina colada

Bathing beauties..

Thumblina

"Humpty, don't tell anyone I told you this..."

Hanging with Shawn of "Shawn and Shane" shoes.

Lo and Shawn

No really... how do these look on me..

Third Eye Blind in concert at the H.H. Brown party..

xoxo

Fast Alice

Casablanca

2008-07-25T23:25:00.001-07:00

As some of you may know, I'm going to be in Vegas for the week doing the shoe modeling gig. But I ended up with an unexpected night out with the ladies from work before my trip. Lady C. planned a lovely dinner for us at a fab Moroccan place...

Grumpy Monkey doesn't like the paparazzi taking photos before we leave the house..

and me... well, obviously I'm the camera whore

BritBrit and I

Leave it to Brit to take her panties off before dinner...

The Galz..

Lady C. getting a much needed shuuushing from Rach

Ah.. yes, the sweating beauties.

Yes this is a pole, and no I'm not in Vegas yet...

Leave it to wild child here to one up me.... haha

Can I say again that these girls and the rest of the staff at my job are the only reason the service industry is bearable... well... if not bearable.. at least its not boring!!

Keep an eye out for posts from Vegas and Fast Alice and Lady C. Episode Nine!!

xoxo

Fast Alice

Pot Luck in BK!!

2008-07-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

My lovely acting class buddy and fellow Brooklynite, Sarah, had an amazing potluck dinner last week. Not only did I get to meet artsy new peeps but I got to experience 4 different types of bean salad (as it seemed to be the "hot dish" of the evening).

My Sarah...

Love this one!

Candid heated debate...

Muah*

Fast Alice

Detox Day 2....

2008-07-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

So day 2 started with one foul juice and continued with many more. My favorite was watching Lady C gag on one of carrots, apple, celery, basil, and pureed avocado. The spa was fun and the massage a treat... although the price was pretty steep. I realized later that evening, whilst at Union Pool in Brooklyn watching a friend's band, that a couple of Pabst Blue ribbon and late night sushi would have made me just as happy as all that pampering. (And would have run me a grand total of maybe $30) Who knows about the actual detoxing but I have to say I have taken away a great deal over the past two days....

1) Fruits and Veggies taste and look amazing but when juiced can be combined into something that tastes worse than gasoline.... so beware.

2) I will never EVER be able to live without Dairy... I'm sorry I don't care what ANYONE says... if you try to take away my cheese, I will kill you.

3) The only other real benefit I can describe is that my sense of taste seems extremely acute now.. I'm not sure if it is all the produce or having to consume things that taste noxious... either way... When something tastes good now, it tastes REALLY good. I can't stop thinking about how amazing my tea, toast and eggs are going to taste tomorrow. I'm already feeling grateful for them, saying "Thank you God, so much, for making a world with delicious tea and toast."

4) The last two days have provided endless material for the "Fast Alice" show. I've never laughed so hard... hopefully, when we share our thoughts, you will as well.

So if you want two days of hysterics... skip the detox and hang out with us... hahaha. Sorry Dr. Gillian I love you but I love my toast more...

Muah*
C

Day 1 Detox Log!!

2008-07-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

Ok... so day one on the detox. Well.. lets just say that I was just fine until I had to drink fennel, cabbage, and cucumber juice. Also, Dr. Gillian recommends that you don't work during the detox..... and now I know why. Not only did I have the worst headache of my life and nausea from the crazy fennel juice I was hyper-crazy-insanely emotional. Complete basket case.... That said Lady C. and I did have fun before work but I don't want ruin any of our material for episode ten.

So on to day two... which begins with tomato, broccoli, garlic juice!!! Seriously, how can something so right for your body feel and taste so wrong....ughghgh. The high point is Lady C. and I are treating ourselves to the spa. I'm going for my first massage ever... well my first non-erotic massage that is.... wink*

xoxo
Fast Alice

Dialogue around our house today:
Lady C: Cahhhleigh drink the juice..
Fast Alice: I don't want to
Lady C: Cahleigh drink the juice
Fast Alice: Where is yours?
Lady C: I made yours first.. drink the juice Cahleigh
Fast Alice: I'm waiting until you make yours
Lady C: Cahleigh... it's time for your juice.. we have two more to get through before lunch..
Fast Alice: Whaaaaaaaa!!!!
Lady C (tasting the juice)
Lady C: Ugh.. this one is horrid.

Detox!

2008-07-14T22:26:00.000-07:00

So Lady C. and I are huge fans of the BBC show "You Are What You Eat." We can't get enough of Dr. Gillian's belly poking, bum slapping, poop viewing or calling people fat.... not to mention the witticisms of the snarky narrator. And now after reading her diet books, Lady C, has us embarking on a two day detox. In grand "Big Love" family style 4 out of 5 housemates ventured to south Brooklyn to pick up some supplies....

Train 1 the M.

Oooooo almost there only 2 trains and a bus... and we LIVE in Brooklyn.. I still don't get it

Lady C. was not feeling very photogenic today

BTW.. Aaron and I will be performing in our apartment's version of "West Side Story."

Casting is:
Carleigh: Maria
Aaron: Tony/Anita
Brendan: Bernardo/Chino
Rachel: Riff
Lady C.: Officer Krupky

Ahhh... Yes, the sister wives... minus 4th wife, Brendan.

After all that.... THIS is what we (Just the Lady and I) are supposed to eat over two days.....
I mean.. I love veggies but I'm a little intimidated.

In other news:

During our travels we stumbled upon a gardener in a lavender garden

he had piles of lavender he was pruning and gave us a whole bag!!!

Sachets anyone???

So at least if the next two days are a nightmare... the house will smell amazing!!

New Mission:

It has come to my attention that I may have been neglecting the more intellectual members of my audience.... despite all the crudeness and sex banter believe it or not.... I'm a pretty smart cookie and an avid reader.. I have been consuming books like wildfire this summer, amazing books, books that must be read by the people I love, so I heretofore announce I will post on every book I read. Keep your eyes peeled!!

Double Muah**

Fast Alice

Ahhhh yes Episode VIII!!!

2008-07-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

You know we love to be in costume!!! Maybe next time we will dress like nuns or 18th century prostitutes.... who knows. Also, please note when Lady C. makes me completely lose control laughing while talking about tennis. (and that the spell checker wasn't working when I posted this before....grrr.. damn you technology!)

xoxo

Fast Alice

Settled at Last

2008-07-05T10:54:00.001-07:00

So as you all know I moved to Brooklyn!!! And now just about a month later I FINALLY finished assembling my furniture and unpacking..... Whewwwwww.

My whole life in boxes...

Ok.. some more of my life.. in rolling carts, guitar cases and Tupperware.

TaaaaDAAAAAa!!

The beautification center/dressing room.

The office/study.

The music room.

The Fortress... as Lady C. lovingly refers to it..

Now you can all imagine me blogging my little heart out in the office or doing naughty things in the fortress you decide...

Muah*

Fast Alice

Home Sweet Home!!

2008-06-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

I finally had an opportunity to go home this past weekend to visit my family and celebrate my little bro's high school graduation. I'm pretty close with my family but this was the longest I've ever gone without visiting. It amazes me how easy it is to forget how much your family influences your life, who you are, the choices you make.... All the little rituals that bring me comfort are rooted with them. I can't help but feel tremendous gratitude.

"The whole of my being mirrored here

Miraged in the eyes of these few cherished faces

Worshiped despite faults by people I never chose

I am their creation and continue to be

Life what love makes us

It is enough"

C.Driever '07

My family minus my Sister Telle who is in Auz

Me and Lil' sis

Fast Alice and Pops

The amazing Mandini!

Rach and I at the Vanderbilt mansion

The Vanderbilt mansion from the front

Craw fish Boil.... That's right little suckers... I hope you like the Big jacuzzi...

Rach looking very maternal with Aslan

Fast Alice with her face buried in pussy...

Cat people... cat!!

Aslan licking Jake... Becca Licking Aslan...

hmmmm... we are a strange bunch.

xoxo

Fast Alice

Ladies Night!

2008-06-27T09:20:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time I had a night off along with all my amazing lady friends and we went out on the town. Fortunately, the camera missed most of the debauchery as it was charging half the night. However, these photos are evidence that this night did indeed take place and sometime in the far... far.. distant future it may be repeated....

Fast Alice and her Ladies

Nay and I

Oooooo.... Can you find Lady C???

(Hint.. she is hiding with a handlebar mustache.)

Ahhhh... There she is!!!

I'm so glad I look relatively sober in these photos....

Uhh... Wait.. Spoke too soon.

Obviously this photo was taken as someone interrupted our conversation about world domination...

Miss You!

Muah*

Fast Alice

At Long Last!!! Episode VII

2008-06-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

Finally Episode 7!! If you notice this episode is considerably longer than our first 6. Hopefully, it will make up for our temporary absence! A special Fast Alice shout to Pete and Sainttigerlily.... We couldn't let you go back to the UK without making some fun... Love you!

Muah*

Fast Alice

I KNOW I KNOW!!!

2008-06-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

Alright it's been like 100 years since I've posted..... forgive me. The move was a little more taxing than I thought. Not to mention the filming and modeling and working I had to do. But I'm pleased to say my Ikea furniture is finally assembled (well.... most of it.. ugh) and I am mostly unpacked. I now reside in what Lady C lovingly refers to as the fortress, in regards to my new loft bed. I'll update this post later with some pre and post move pix. Also..... Lady C and Fast Alice are about to make there much awaited reappearance so get ready for fun!!

Muah*
Fast Alice

Moving!!

2008-05-31T06:49:00.001-07:00

Watch out BK!!! Fast Alice is coming. I'm moving today and have been packing and the like all week. It's been crazy so forgive the lack of posts.... But I'm taking pix today to document the process so keep an eye out.. I'm sure I'll resurface soon!

Muah*
Fast Alice

Memorial Day Decker!

2008-05-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

Awwww... my last decker as a housemate in East Harlem... But it was a blast!!

Awww.. Ozzie doing something cute in front of the camera... first time for everything.

No you throw a great party.... No you!!

Meera looking glam as ever...

Ha! I should add Sausage master to my skills list!!

Happy Birthday Brendan!!

2008-05-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

So in fine Wonderland tradition we had a fantastic tea party in honor of Brendan's Birthday.....

The Birthday Boy!

This photo taken right before he dumped some beer on the ground for his "peeps in the pen"....lol

Represent!

The Peanut Gallery

A toast to Brendan and to Joe for looking fab in his pajmina!

As Promised... Wai/Jesse Nipple Grab Action Shot!!

2008-05-31T06:11:00.000-07:00

Oooooooooo Dirty...

That's a wrap folks!!! Although.. keep an eye out for drunken wrap party pix!!!

This Is Life Shoot!!

2008-05-20T20:46:00.000-07:00

So I had the immense pleasure of working with one of my favorite directors... Mr. Wai Choy on his NYU Thesis film "This Is Life." After playing a spectacular bitch in his previous film "Aiden's Escape," Wai was kind enough to give me a cameo in this project. Amazingly Wai is shooting on 35 mm.... (which costs a small fortune and is what feature films are shot on... for those non film people in the audience). It was a great time and the footage looks superb.. there was a lot of steady-cam used during the scenes.... so the shots look SEXY!!!

Wai and Fast Alice at the Movies!!

OMG... can it be????

Pictures of me that I didn't take myself???

... GASP!!

I love filming!!!

The Cast..

Wai Choy, Fast Alice Glass, Jesse Israel

Soap Shot....

Sitcom Shot...

Cum Shot....

lol.. just kidding.. more like grab the pool stick and shake it...

I'll post the pix of the boys grabbing each others nipples later... Also keep an eye peeled later this week for another episode of Fast Alice and Lady C........ Oh yes... were coming... don't miss out...

Muah*

Fast Alice

OOOOoo Baby Stick your Choink in my Fluff!!

2008-05-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

OK!! WARNING!!! Do not watch this at work unless you have an office door or head phones... be prepared for dirty words and outright silliness....

To our amazing viewers who commented on episode V. Be assured we will include your topic in the next video... as you can see by the attire this episode was taped the same day as episode V.

More Park Pictures!!

2008-05-05T19:25:00.000-07:00

More Park pix this time in Union SQ park. My photographer friend, Victor, is looking to expand his head shot book. These are a few candid shots... if you are looking for photos post a comment and I'll refer you... he's a really great guy and has a great artistic eye as you can see....

Fast Alice and Lady C. Episode V!!!

2008-05-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

Episode V has arrived!!! Watch out!!!

Muah*

Fast Alice

Nut Bars on the Family Farm!!

2008-05-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

Back on the Farm!!! So Aunt Mitzi taught my Cuz and I our Great-Grandmother's recipe for nut bars...
Ingredients:
1lb Walnuts or Almonds ground
1cup bread crumbs
3 lemons juiced
1 tablespoon lemon zest
3eggs
1 cup sugar

Jules and Aunt Mitzi zest some lemon...

Our lovely pile of fresh ground walnuts!!

This is actually my Great-Grandmas cutting/baking board..

Aunt Mitzi mixes the nuts and bread crumbs together while I pour the sugar.

I love my Fam!!

Slowly mix in 3 egg yolks and 1 egg white..

Knead the mixture into a stiff dough.. adding extra breadcrumbs to absorb any extra nut oil..

Jules uses my unorthodox method for juicing lemons.. doesn't taste so great but works like a charm!! My Aunt thought this was the greatest thing....lol. One lemon juiced is kneaded into the nut dough.

Half the dough and roll into two tubes about 12-14 inches long..

Roll the tubes flat to make the bar shape.

The icing is easy just beat a meringue out of the two remaining egg whites, two juiced lemons and some sugar....

YUM!

I love doing this... my favorite part!!

Almost ready for the oven... cut the bars into 1 inch slices.

Bake on 350 until the meringue is golden brown!!!

Park and Peeps!!

2008-05-01T12:19:00.001-07:00

So last week was really the first few amazing days of spring!!! Yeah!!!!! So I made quick to Central Park for some park lounging....

The Herbmeister... Jamming on the baby guitar!!

Hi there!!

Brother B returns from London!!!

The two Amigos....

Grrr.... I'm gonna bite you...

New Stuff is on the Way!!!!!

2008-04-28T20:39:00.000-07:00

Alright my Lovelies.. I know you are probably getting antsy because I haven't posted in a hot minute.... However, I have lots of pix and an upcoming episode of Fast Alice and Lady C.... So stay tuned!!!

Fast Alice and Lady C. Episode IV....Dun, Dun, Dun...

2008-04-21T02:09:00.000-07:00

Episode IV..... Can you believe it!!! Lady C. and I run rampant on topics like.... going commando, sex on the first date, fashions in pubic hair, and hangover cures..... Time to comment peeps and give us some valid topics before we scar you for life......

And an apology to Lady C. ... I'm not quite sure why but my name came out like 20X bigger than yours on the credits... it would be too much for me to reformat everything etc... so I'll fix it next time..... But please note Mssss... Hardwood gets equal billing in my book.. I love her.. Muah*, Muah***

Kisses,

Fast Alice

Sausage Party!!

2008-04-20T08:33:00.001-07:00

OK... So originally this was a "GARDEN" party. Where we get all our friends together and plant next years roof garden. However, one of the traditions of any "Decker" we throw is that people come to the house with an offering of alcohol or food to feed the masses.... This time not only was the party pretty much all ladies.. they all brought... of all things... sausage. Thus causing us to have to re title the party all together.

Our lovely garden. We have four types of tomatoes, cucumbers, egg plants, morning glories, moon flowers, sweet peas, basil, parsley, marigolds, cilantro, sage, lavender, and rosemary. My favorite part are the climbing flowers that cover this lattice wall... Sigh.. I can't wait for summer!!

Juno blessing the plants before potting...

Nay played the important role as audience member to our shenanigans...

Fast Alice looking really rural in her straw hat... Well, I've got farmer's blood what can I say..

Relaxing with an Apple Crisp after the planting is done..

Juno looking like the Goddess she is...

The only sausage allowed between my legs from now on.... Sorry boys, but it has Cheddar inside... obviously superior....

Delighting in the discovery of masses of tampons stored in her purse a tampon throwing fight ensued...

Nay's solution to a runny nose... priceless...

Lovely ladies!

This is by far my most favorite time of year, and these parties only get bigger and better as the summer progresses... If you're lucky maybe you will get an invite....

Muah*

Fast Alice

Episode III of Fast Alice and Lady C. AT LAST!!

2008-04-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well folks it's finially here long awaited Episode III of the Fast Alice and Lady C. show..... and btw Episode IV is in the can and just around the corner..... so keep an eye out....

Love and Kisses....

Fast Alice Glass

The Birthright Project!!

2008-04-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

For some time now I have been talking with my cousins and extended family about doing a documentary on my two great aunts. They are both in their 80's and are the oldest living members of my family. My Grandmother recently past away and it made me realize that I know absolutely nothing about my family's history. My Aunt Mitzi and Henrietta live on my family farm. A farm that my great grandparents ran and lived on until their deaths, a farm that my two Aunts were born on... These two amazing women are the last link to that history and I'll be damned if I let it slip through my fingers.... They live just outside of Monticello NY and I am planning on shooting this summer. It is a beautiful area and is great place to escape the city. I will be desperately looking for volunteers, most importantly a DV camera operator and a Sound Tech... Shooting would take three or four days at the most. If you are interested please post a comment below... I would love your help!!!
Muah*
Fast Alice

My Amazing Aunt Mitzi and Angel

This house is over 100 years old...

Lil' Ali in the woods.... This all used to be cleared out long ago..

Mama Sheep, Baby Sheep!

They all lined up for this photo.... Funny. The sheep shearer was coming the next day so they look very fat....

Pretty Chickies...

Billy-Bob... The Goat!

Mom rejected this little guy so now he is a house pet... Well, untill he gets bigger... So cute they walk him on a leash.

Oh, his name is Dark Rye.. Cute!

Stuff from last week! Friends and Fun!

2008-04-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

So these pix are all from last week.... I know, don't hate me!!! But I still wanted to share them with you so here goes....

My amazing and everfab friend Jenny.... We hadn't seen eachother since last summer so it was a grand reunion!!

Sagatarian Danger....

Ok... this is how bored Miss Chriss and I were at work on Saturday..... What better time for a photoshoot!!!

Hot Mama!!!

As if you needed another of just me... was trying out a cool Dita Von Teese hairdo... a moderate success I think.. I really need a haircut to make it work.

Last Sunday Funday!!! Brunch at Essex.. wasn't my best day ever but it was worth it to be with my girlz!!

Giggles...

I will try to keep up this week... Plus another webisode of Lady C. and I is coming... dun, dun, dun.....!!

Fear Not!!

2008-04-08T23:12:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to pop in and say hello... and tell all my avid viewers not to fear Lady C and I will be back with another webisode later this week. I would also like to invite anyone who would like to offer a topic for us to discuss to do so. It is easy and painless to do, just go to the bottom of this post and click on "comment" and follow the nifty instructions.. (Pretty, Pretty, PLLLLLEASEEEEE, we would love some ideas!!)

Other interesting facts in the life of Fast Alice:
-A stranger made me cry at brunch on Sunday
-I miss my roomies who are in London eating chicken crips without me...boooooo
-In their absence the cats are conspiring to kill me... they try nightly to break into my bedroom..
-I just ate a huge falafel sandwich and it is two am....
-We officially have a naked man who lives across the way.. and I get to view his bum as I type this...hmmmmmm...

xoxo
Fast Alice

I am ever amazed..

2008-04-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

I am ever amazed at my mind and emotions.. There are so many times in life when you cling to something, something often you never even wanted in the first place, and make it the center of your life.... I am equally amazed at how things in your life can shift so drastically without any warning, washing away all that came before.

I almost never write poetry that rhymes.. but this is what I woke up with this morning.. swirling in my mind... Just thought I would share....

One night's grace from bondage freed
sentenced time's been served.
I wake up without the chains I wrought
No more a wingless bird.
Tears caked salt upon my cheeks
blown free in wind and sun.
I face today, no fear, no doubt,
my life has just begun.

Always be free...
Fast Alice Glass

Fast Alice and Lady C. at it Again!!!!

2008-04-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

So this is attempt number two at the Fast Alice and Hardwood show... I hope you enjoy. We broke it into chapters so our fair viewers can digest all the tidbits of wisdom we have to offer.

So enjoy folks!!! Sorry if the resolution is off... but the files are big...

Love and Kisses...

Fast Alice Glass

The West Side!! A must see!!!!

2008-04-03T17:09:00.001-07:00

The amazing Sainttigerlily again turned me on to something truly wonderful!!! A mutual friend of ours played a part in this online serial called "The West Side." I have to admit I was skeptical that it would be any good..... but it knocked my socks off. It is a black and white western but set in NYC..... Please, Please, Please, check it out. Also,as a side note, Brendan performs in episode three as one of the thugs.... Don't miss out!!!!

Go To:
www.thewestside.tv

Kisses,
Fast Alice Glass

Screw ups!!!!

2008-04-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

As promised here are the outtakes from your botched introduction.... Enjoy!!! We film again Friday so stay tuned!!!! Hey and this time share some comments people on what you want us to talk about..... because left to our own devices... well, you see what happens!!!

Fast Alice Glass and Lady C. Hardwood....

2008-04-03T00:20:00.000-07:00

Alright people, I have some videos to share. The lovely Lady Hardwood and I met this afternoon and recorded the priceless gems below. The experience was very interesting and I learned many things....

1. Filming off the cuff can be very funny.... but very disjointed... Next time we will have a set of topics...

2. I am NOT an editor.. as much as I pride myself on my windows movie maker skillz... I suck..

3. It is almost impossible for me to sit next to Lady C. and not laugh at her.. so most of the videos are Lady C. being hilarious and me laughing with a cool hat on... Oh well.

What I can promise is that they will get better.. and funnier for sure. Honestly, the best stuff was in the outtakes. I'm going to spend some time with those tomorrow and post them later..

Muah*

Fast Alice

Fast Alice Glass and Lady C. Hardwood Part II

2008-04-03T00:15:00.000-07:00

This of course was off the cuff and proves to me again that Lady Hardwood is like a million times funnier than I will ever be..... lol. Another reason why I love her so...

Grand Ideas!!

2008-04-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow I will be meeting with one of my favorite ladies... the wonderful Miss Lani Harwood. Miss Harwood is one of the only reasons I can tolerate my current work aday job... (Well she and a few other extra special employees which keep me from jumping off the roof.)
Our plan is to post a web cast by sometime tomorrow evening or the following day. I suppose it will depend on how the material comes together... and how technology savvy I can be with my video editing programs..... Ideally I would love to post a video of us weekly. If anyone has any great ideas for topics during tomorrows taping... please comment and let me know!!!

Kisses
Fast Alice

More Recording at the Smooth Spot!!

2008-03-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

My amazing accompanist and friend, Justin Stoney!!

Thanks again to Michael at The Smooth Spot, who was kind enough to send me these pix and video....

Sunday Funday!!

2008-03-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

Started a new tradition this Sunday... henceforth we shall be known as the ladies who Brunch. I've always wanted to do Sunday brunches with girlfriends a la Sex in the City Style... But I have always had to work.... Due to some miracle I seem to be having Sundays off!!! Woot... leaving me free to indulge in company of the female persuasion.... and not that way... you sicko..

Three very full ladies....

Plus one bottle of Patron....

Equals awesome deck party!!!

Aww.. look Schreiber wore this outfit to match the bottle....lol

Nay enjoying the sun....

I don't know what I'm thinking in this photo.. but I guess it would be something like....

Awwww these are the best ladies in the world...

These boots were made for sitting on my ass and drinking margaritas... obviously...

That's right.... Life is good...

I deduce, in my expert medical opinion, that this box is most certainly empty...

She is sooooooo smart!

Today was such a blast. Brunch was great and the ensuing deck party a welcome treat. It's intention was of course to lure the God's of spring back to NYC so we can do the same thing but in bathing suits... This is best done by enticing them with cinqo de mayo type fare, of which we had an abundance... complete with black bean soup, amazingly prepared by the wonderful Sainttigerlily!!

Production Pix!!

2008-03-29T21:56:00.001-07:00

So we wrapped shoot today on the short film I was working on!!! Awesome!! Unfortunately, I didn't really get any production stills of any other scene but this.... Boooooo! By the time we were shooting the last two scenes we were too rushed for time and the space was so tiny... no room for a photographer... So if you want to see my character die you will just have to wait for the movie. Hopefully, I will have footage in the next few months. The director plans on submitting this to festivals, some of which have deadlines that are really close.......

Nick the DP setting up lights.. I really can't say enough about Nick.. He was great, really had his shit together. I'm sure he will go far...

Last Looks...

Me and Johnathan... the creepy guy who gets to strangle me...

Alright... I know you have seen enough make up pix. But this one is for my hair... I did my own hair and it was soooooooo unruly. By some stroke of genius.. out the the chaos I created this.... I'm so glad I have photo evidence that my hair is capable of doing this....

Sing it Sista!

Couldn't use a flash while filming obviously... hence the blur...

What I get to see while I'm singing....

OK... I think this is one of my favorite pix of all times.... The way I feel when I look at this photo is why I love working on film.

I have always had a fascination with mirrors and watching myself in the mirror. Hence the Alice obsession. I'm sure vanity has a large part in it... believe me I love checkin' myself out. But it's also more than that... I love seeing myself in space.. interacting with other people, laughing, thinking. I am utterly fascinated by the way others see me. I'm sure that is why working in film has been my greatest joy. Intellectually, I love the process and all that goes into production. But personally, I often feel like who I really am is so disguised by what other people see. Film gives you the opportunity to show the audience what YOU want, how you want to be observed. You get to tell the story. I guess I'm still struggling with the ability to do this in real life... but who doesn't.

Yours,

Fast Alice Glass

Make Up Pix!!! by Kellie Wilson

2008-03-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

My wonderfully fabulous and ubertalented coworker Kellie, generously offered her time and did my make up for today's shoot. Well... we all know I have a problem taking pictures of myself.... if you give me a camera I will inadvertently begin mugging and taking my own picture, it is kind of a torretts syndrome like urge that I can't deny... don't judge me. Let's just say that Kellie's make up made it almost impossible to drag me away from the camera... fortunately, there was a huge one on set...

Me and the Make Up Goddess herself!!

Just Look at the contouring people!!!

I'm a glamourpuss I can't help but smile....

I know... I know.... the finger on the lips thing AGAIN... I think I need medication..

OOooooo BIG camera!

Kellie thank you for making me look and feel so beautiful today... You are soooooo talented and would recommend your work to any of my friends... Can't wait for the headshot shoot girl!!! PS. I have you scissors...btw.

I will get more of the actual production shots tomorrow afternoon as we head into our second day of shooting....

As promised... The Smooth Spot and college basket ball...

2008-03-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

After singing my head off I headed out to cheer for...... ugh... Who was it again.... Oh.. West Virginia basket ball. I actually missed the whole game because of my rehearsal..... I know tragic, considering I'm such a sports nut. But I managed to make it to the after party.... and the after after party...teehee.

Me and the infamous Jesse James..

My buddies... and a whole room full of people I need to be introduced to again.... GOD I suck with names....

So.... these videos were taken on my new camera which apparently only takes 15 seconds of video at a time.... So I realize they are kinda lame. Fortunately, Michael at The Smooth Spot, was kind enough to take a full video with his camera. Once he sends them to me I will refurbish this post. I can't say enough about Michael and his studio. If you are thinking of recording seriously look him up. Or click on the link above. He is the nicest man and his set up is amazing.... I had so much fun.... Sigh...

Filming and Singing!!!!

2008-03-26T19:17:00.001-07:00

So Fast Alice has been a busy girl this week.... I managed to book another short film!!! Yeah!!!! However, I found out about it on Monday. It shoots this weekend in the evening so I had to have someone take my Saturday shift (aka the only day I will make any money all week) to do it. But it was a happy sacrifice. Especially since I am playing a hotel singer and the director is letting me use my voice!!! I can't believe that I am going to get footage of myself on actual film singing!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, I am recording at a studio my coach was kind enough to recommend tomorrow evening. I'm singing a Jazz version of the song "Our Day Will Come." It is awesome and sounds great in my voice....
I am also happy to announce that I now have my own digital camera..... OK it may be a dinosaur and huge... but it was free..... thanks Daddy. I plan on taking some pix tomorrow at the studio. Also, I have plans to watch a college basketball game and hopefully watch grown men degrade themselves in a frat boy capacity. Which of course will be photographed as well....

Till then Peeps!!
Muah*
Fast Alice

Metamorphosis

2008-03-24T20:46:00.000-07:00

So the blog is kind of like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.... I enjoyed writing so much about my adventures in Australia... I have decided to continue writing about my adventures here in NYC aka wonderland. I have a deep love for Alice in Wonderland and the blog will slowly be transforming into the adventures of "Fast Alice Glass" my new amazing alter ego.. I decided to forgo traditional spandex and opt for the pretty blue dress.... so watch out folks while Fast Alice pursues her white rabbit on the streets of NYC....

Muah*

Fast Alice Glass

The End of the Road!!!

2008-03-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

This gem was recorded right before bed on my final night. Hence the ready for bed attire....

But Telle and I wrote this song earlier in the week.. and is lovingly dedicated to BritBrit, Lohan, and Paris...

Dinner Day 19 and Day 20 My last day!!!! booooooo

2008-03-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

The Melbourne skyline from the back of a Taxi.

Me, Markie, and Aaron!

We love our little Markles...

South Melbourne Beach!

Pretty Sissy...

Just me and the sea...

Random guys + Hukka = Telle and my new best friends..

I got bit by a shark!!!!

Ok just kidding... I got stung by a flathead fish, hence the wound and swollen toe...

Oww..

Nice hair buddy...

Victoria Market!

OMG...

Last pic with my Aussie Bro and Lauren!

The amazing seafood feast for our last meal! Scallops, 3 kinds of calamari, salmon, makerel, white bait, prawns, mussels, and mud crab!!

Here fishy fishy fishy!!

Excellent form sis.... head first..

Day 19 Cricket Matches and Playing Pass Out!!

2008-03-20T12:29:00.000-07:00

My second to last day in Melb... of course T and I are hungover...blah. But we managed to get escape her apartment for part of the day. Especially since there was a huge cricket match on Australia vs. India. Mark had like 15 of his Indian friends over.... But after the match the real fun began.....

Nooooooo!! Don't kick me you strange metal insect monster...

Hahahaha!!

Sad Sistas..... I don't wana gooooo!

Drunky Skunkie...

Uh Ohhhhhh!

Look he won't even wake up if I do this!!!!

Or this!!!

Ohhhh... he moved!! Time to hide behind the couch!

Hoh...Hoh..Hoh..Obviously I'm an Artisteeeee!!

The best pic because at this point Aaron has noooooo Idea about his face.... But Telle does...

Teehee....we're evil..

Me and Shadow

2008-03-08T22:27:00.000-08:00

I love how I have a huge spider crawling on my leg and my sister just films and laughs....Thanks Sis. Although when I say that she is mean the bird starts nodding...Lol. So I'm not the only one who thinks so!

Speedy Attacks!!!!

2008-03-08T22:14:00.000-08:00

Just for a little background on this one. As a child the toy in this video was one of my favorite things.....don't ask why. We bought one for Stew when he was in the US, as a sort of welcome to the family gift.

I realize now this gift was probably not that exciting since the Australian house spiders are almost this big.

The Amazing Dancing Bean!

2008-03-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

Ok... my sister and I have a ton of things in common, however, she does not share my deep love of dancing. To me there are few things as fun as dancing the night away, getting all sweaty, and pretty much having free licence to do in public what most people would only do in the shower. For about a week we argued about why she didn't like to dance. Then finally after much provoking she showed me her moves........

This pretty much explains it.

So today I'm the master of production.....

2008-03-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

Alright peeps.... the luggage...she's a back...the gifts, they are a given. A big ol' mission accomplished on this end. And the big fat cherry on the Sunday of my evening drrrum roll puhleeeazzzeee...... I finally got my videos to load!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow's task is to reformat the pix I have from the last few days, among the seven hundred other things I have to do.... Sigh... there is definitely something masochistic about it but I love my life when it's hectic... is that wierd??

Lee Rocks!!

2008-03-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

So obviously Lee is the coolest man alive.... no one, I mean.....NO ONE, can rock a bathing cap like this man right here.....

GRRRRRrrrrr!!

2008-03-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

Ok so I'm back in NY.....Sigh.... As much as I am glad to be back, I already miss Auz and my sis. Adding insult to injury, my computer....she's a fucked... so I can't upload my last few days of pix and the airport lost both my bags. One of which is my guitar so am extra pissed. Supposedly they are dropping off my one bag tonight and will call when they locate the guitar. The good news is I will get my computer back on Saturday so I prrrroooomise to post lots when I get it back. Trust me you don't want to miss the photos I have...priceless.

No Internet Peeps!!

2008-03-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

Alright so Internet has been a pain, hence the delays in posts. I will update everything soon!!!

Muah*
C

Day 18 Relaxing Poolside in Melb and The Pickled Beats Launch

2008-03-01T21:34:00.001-08:00

Today was a pretty lazy afternoon. We woke our little Marky with breakfast in bed and as many hangover remedies as we could find. (He didn't much like losing at poker to the Ladies...) Then went to the pool and spa in Telle's apartment complex.Ahhhh...the sun...

Sistas.....

Mark...ever the clever boy.. found an even more interesting use for his golf clubs.
Why he is straining so much in this photo???.... I'm not quite sure..

Peace out Cubscout
Time for the Launch

We love Pickled Beats...
Yummy.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner....

The Launch was awesome...cool music and video dj'ing.

Day17 Moroccan Soup Bar and Co Ed Poker

2008-03-01T21:11:00.001-08:00

We finally met up with Stew and Lorin for a night out on the town. Telle's favorite restaurant here is a place called the Moroccan Soup Bar, which is banquet style and AMAZING!!!

The most incredible coffee table I've seen yet.... a copper clawfoot tub with a fishtank inside....

Oooooo ...the little gold blobs are goldfish...

I couldn't even begin to tell you what the heck all this was.....But it was all vegetarian and all delicious....

Mmmmm....Turkish Coffee and date biscuits.

Ahhhh... here is something we do in America....Beer and Hold'em

What more pix of us???.....noooooo

Sorry boys I have to take allllllllll of your money....
Card shark...who me? Noooo..

Mine..Mine...Mine.... Telle guarding our stash.... we raped the boys at this game....teehee

Shhhhhhh......apes.

Telle and I topped the charts with our number one single......"Without My Panties."

Gravatron and C.J.
We will explain later there are children in the audience.....

Day 16 Bumming around the Old Apartment

2008-02-28T14:33:00.001-08:00

Today was a pretty lazy day. But is started out grand with amazing breakie as usual.Breakfast Crew.

MMmmmmmm....

Eggs here are always this color....sigh..I'm going to miss orange eggs..

Napping on the grass....

Hey wait a minute.....

Haha....well I can nap until they pull away at least...

Loouuunnnggee.....

Tea time!!

Our awesome apartment, which we are leaving tomorrow.....Sigh.

Day15 St. Kilda Beach

2008-02-27T18:42:00.001-08:00

Telle and I decided to spend the afternoon at St. Kilda beach. It is actually pretty close, just a 20min tram ride away...

Don't I look flash in my masterfully matching ensemble..

More flash than a rat with a gold tooth...Word....Sis.

St. Kilda beach

The Island people decided to sacrifice Telle to the Australian god of the sun....
Awesome.

Here buddy, let me get that for you......

A very uneventful day.... after the beach we ran errands for Telle, buying bedding and such. Then we had dinner with Mark at a great Indian place near Telle's new flat. We ended the evening with wine, wine, and more wine...pretty much the norm here.

Day 14 Dinner out with Mr. Nice

2008-02-26T23:53:00.000-08:00

So one of Lee's friends was nice enough to ask me to dinner tonight...superfun!! Not to mention it is perfect timing because Telle has the hangover from Hell... so she won't even miss me...teehee.

All dolled up!!

First Stop...a walk through a park in Abbotsford at dusk. There is a convent on the property and a children's farm....... no, not farming children...a farm for them...or wait..even that sounds weird. Regardless, it was beautiful and a bit of a challenging walk but well worth it.

Most of the path is cut into the side of a hill like so...

A pretty picture of the convent across the way.

Melbourne at dusk.

The sky was the most amazing shade of purple I have ever seen. I can't believe the camera captured so much...

Breathtaking...

Me and the purple sky....

Mr. Nice himself...

After several attempts we finally managed this shot...but we mastered it with supermodel precision.

My charming escort was kind enough to take me to "The Retreat Hotel." It's a restaurant folks...don't think dirty. It is a bit of a landmark here in Melb as it is featured on a superpopular Aussie soap opera.

Amazing food that almost didn't make the photo....
Turkish bread with dip. Salt and Pepper Calamari, lightly breaded and served with a baby arugala salad. Last and best, a pumkin parcel (acorn squash to us) with spinach, feta and pastry shell over herb cream. Heaven...

Strawberry Crepes with Grand Marnier cream and Ice Cream...mmmmmm.

On our way home we spotted some elusive midnight sunflowers.

Thanks to Mr. Nice for such a wonderful evening. A man of many talents, in addition to the successful launching of his corporation, he is also an accomplished musician, successful DJ, and exceptional artist/animator. And most importantly he is a hummus expert, making him already one of my favorite people.

Day 13 INTERPOL!!!!!!!

2008-02-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

So late in the evening, in our hungover stupor, I mentioned to Mark that I was an Interpol fan. Lo and behold, Interpol were playing the following day!!! Of course the show was sold out, so Telle and I scrambled to find tix for the three of us. Which we did, all over the city of Melbourne. We bought two from ebay and one from a craigslist type site called Gumtree.

Saw this on the way to meet with ticket number one!
This purse would just about hold the amount of money I spent while here...or me, or maybe both. The real tragedy of this photo is that this thing doesn't open...because you don't know how much I would have loved a pic with me inside.

One.....

Tiny Peeps

mmmmm...Big Peeps....
Ok, we had a little too much time on the train.... I know.

Tttwoooo...

On the way to meet ticket number three we stoped at Telle's job. What didn't know, but found out from one of her supervisors, is that Chantelle was hand selected by the world's top polymer scientist to work on his nanotechnologie project. (Anyone who has seen "The Hulk," it's like that except no radiation) Although... I've seen Telle turn pretty green...hehe.

Thhhhrrrreeeee!! Three

Alright before you get too excited...no cameras were allowed in so I don't have any concert pics yet. Mark took some with his camera phone and will send them to me eventually. These are just some cool post amazing concert pics.

Rockin'

Three Amigos.

Mark losing his virginity to a Reese's...
Notice his great respect for the impending first bite...

Alright...he's a little aggressive.. but his form is excellent and his exuberance comes from his deep love of chocolate.

Ahhh....Carnal Bliss...

The concert itself was AMAZING!!! Really one of the best bands I have ever seen live. Plus the venue was TINY... I was literally 10 feet from the stage. I want to see them again in NY, next time I won't miss the opportunity.

Day 12 Hungover....Ugh

2008-02-25T17:10:00.000-08:00

So this day was pretty uneventful because of the festivities the evening before. We ventured out at the respectable hour of 4:00pm, and then only in search of amazing Vietnamese food.

Telle waiting for the Tram.....omg please don't throw up...please don't throw up..

Ha..HAhhhh!

Flinders Street Station, one of the main train stations. This was on the way to my sisters new place. Her flat is in a great location.

Federation Square, kinda like Union SQ for us but a little more compact and it is actually up against the water, behind the buildings on the right.

There was actually a concert or something going on... I'm not quite sure what.

Sorry for the lame post. After dinner Telle, Mark (T's flatmate), and I all went back to our place and watched "Into the Wild." All of us were recovering and needed some movies and cuddle time...Lol. Tomorrow will be better....Promise.